Swaziland :)

Oh where on earth do I begin...

I am here safe and sound!  Currently at the Manzini internet store, where you buy a certain amount of hours.  It's so good to finally have contact with the rest of the world and to finally notify my parents that yes... I am ALIVE! :)  When we arrived in London we went to some tourist sites.  We saw the changing of the gaurds at Buckingham Palace where the royal family lives, and saw some other pretty old monuments.  Sadly I was out of it most of the time.  I discovered that I get extremely motion sickness...so from the flight I ended up puking my guts out in London Central Park.  Yes it was AWFUL at the time...but how many people can say they have puked in London Central Park right next to where the queen lives?!  I hate to admit this, but it was really hard to not just call my parents and be like... Hey im sick, can you pick me up?  But no, I ended up just hopping on another plane!  But it turned out be so worth it.  I just had to continue thinking about the destination!  The plane from London took us to Johannesburg, South Africa.  And from there a large van picked us up and drove us to Manzini, Swaziland.  Everyone in the van was totally passed out because none of us recieved very much sleep.  But I was absolutely FASCINATED by the terrain, the people, and all the sites that there was NO way I could have brought myself to fall asleep.  First of all, They drive on the opposite side of the road, and the wheel is on the opposite side as well.  I saw slums, mud houses, cows walking around in the middle of the road, women balancing giant boxes of various things on their heads... incredible.  So when we finally arrived at our home it wasnt until later at night, but our house is very quaint :)  It definitely passes as a very very low class American home, but it suits us just fine.  We all share beds, and I share a bed with the wonderful Mary Kate.  I absolutely LOVE my team.  The next day we went to a Care Point called "Mangonani."  This is when all the pictures, and statistics became a disgusting reality for me... We started walking toward the Care Point and kids from all around just started flocking towards us and grabbing our hands.  Just because we were white they were totally trusting us to take them somewhere safe.  When we finally arrived at the care point kids just started literally... and when I say literally...I REALLY mean literally, started running straight at us in such joy.  We all had kids hanging on our hips, backs, and some were getting in arguments on who could hold my hand the longest.  This is all in seconds of when we met these children.  Behind the fence of the care point is just...poverty.  Kids that looked around the age of 3 or 4 had scarves tied around their bodies to hold a baby on their back.  Its amazing how such a little toddler has the instinct to help the other children out.  At this time they were all getting ready for lunch.  Getting ready for lunch starts off with a big bucket of water.  The water was brown, but its their only way to "clean" the dishes.  As soon as they would wash up their bowls they would race into line crammed together as if the closer they stood to one another the faster they would receive their rice.  Each one of the kids has clothes with holes in them, and they were filthy from head to toe.  But STILL past all the outward uncleanliness...they were absolutely beautiful.  To embrace one of these children and to witness their beautiful joy...is so stunning.  Its amazing how we can all complain about various things...when we have a car in the garage, clean water, and plenty of food in the cupboards.  These kids have nothing but their faith to get them by, and they are solely living on simplicity, and their joy for life was STILL so evident.  There were children so young I was just appauled by the fact they could even walk yet.  Some even had bloated stomachs :(  One of the girls i grew closer with later asked me, "When you be back next week, will you bring me something nice?" My response, "No, but I would be glad to give the greatest gift of all, which is my love."  She just looked at me and began to hug me tighter.  Then she asked, "Do you love God?"  Wow. My response was, "Oh absolutely.  I love God very very much."  Again she just smiled and said, "Oh yes I love God very much too."  ahhhhh. even rewriting this conversation just fills my heart with joy.  Again, these children have NOTHING, and she still has faith in God!  Another girl named Ningwani that I was with hanging by my side most of the time, was so so so so sweet.  We could barely understand eachother, but she still remained content with just my company.  She took off my sunglasses and was wearing them around everywhere, when the other kids saw them, they became a wonderful new toy and the next thing I knew, they were covered with rice saliva.  Yum!  haha, which reminds me I still need to wash them off!  When it was time I had to depart from Ningwani she gave me one of the warmest hugs I have ever received in my life.. Even though we met only hours early, (by the way she was the one that found me on the street walking to the care point that just came up and grabbed my hand) her embrace was filled with so much love.  I am SO excited to go back next week and see them all again!  So far, God has been absolutely BLOWING me away on this trip, and I havent been here long.  Its amazing to see that God's love is working all over the world.  I am so blessed incredibly blessed.  It gets dark at around 5:30 and its 2 in the afternoon right now, so its been so cool to have the opportunity to hang out with the team and share testamonies, and build each other up through Christ.  OH! I almost forgot.  Last night we went to the Rec because MK has alot of connections with the people here and they begged her to play basketball with her on Friday night.  So we show up and they end of playing the womens team of Zimbabwe!  So insane.  Zimbabwe has some hardcore skills.  They dominated Team Swazi by 40 points... hahaha... crazy!  Anyways, my time her has been amazing.  And its been SO humbling.  Wearing no makeup, having 2 minute cold showers, and eating simple food only at meals has been GREAT and such an awesome growing experience for me. 
Family~ I MISS YOU GUYS! and I love you very much :)

I hope everyone is having a wonderful summer!!! Prayers are still needed for the country of Swaziland!!!  God has already been doing some amazing things. 

In Christ,

Lindsay :)

Chicago time

So last night the team, including some of our family members, met up in Marshall, WI where Mary Kate our team leader lives.  We had a fantastic dinner, and MK gave the parents more information regarding the trip and all that it entails.  Early in the morning we packed the car and headed for Milwaukee where we boarded our first flight to Chicago.  Here in Chicago we have a 9 hour lay over until we board our flight to London.  I know a 9 hour lay over in Chicago seems like A LOT, but it has been so fantastic :)  We've had magnificent bonding time, and I have really gotten to know my fellow team members.  All the women are SO amazing, AND passionate.  I am completely overwhelmed by the fact that God, for some reason, placed us all together as a unified team, to accomplish a specific goal through Christ.  I feel so undeserving.  I feel so blessed to have been chosen by God to be apart of this team, and I am astronomically PUMPED to discover what on earth lies ahead of us in this next month.  I am really excited to have the opportunity to embrace the Swazi people, as well as their culture.  I'm looking forward to pouring the love of Jesus, and the good news into hearts from literally across the world.  Prayers for our team are VITAL! We need YOUR help to make this mission possible.  Please pray for our endurance, and our obedience to intently follow the Holy Spirit and all that He has instore! 

God bless you :)

ALSO!!!! I wrote out a thank you letter to all the people who gave me donations to even go on this trip... and silly me...I never got around to actually sending them out!  From the bottom of my heart, I truly extend the DEEPEST amount of appreciation and love for you!  I assure you that when I return home you will get some type of letter!  I promise that your donations werent insignificant to me, IT MEANS THE WORLD! Thank you very very very very much. 

Doubts transformed to Revelations.

Romans 1:17~ "This Good News tells us God makes us right in his sight."

Romans 2:1~ "You may think you can condemn such people, but you are just as bad, and you have no excuse!  When you say they are wicked and should be punished, you are condemning yourrself, for you who judge others do these very same things."

Romans 2:11~ "God does not show favoritism."

This past week I have been taking a closer look into the book of Romans... and ever since, I've had the same thought stuck in my head all week. "How in the world do we become holy enough in the eyes of God?  What makes us officially good enough to be assigned to Heaven's destination?"  So, what I got out of Romans 2:1 is if I condemn others who sin, Im just as bad.  But what if I say something as simple as "That girl needs Jesus."  Is that considered a judgemental comment, or a flat out statement to reasoning of her wicked ways?  I guess I've just been struggling with, how is it humanly possibly NOT to sin?  I mean just a comment like... "Shes awful."  Or, "He/She needs Jesus."  Or, if I have friends who partake in sexual relationships, and I occasionally find myself quick to anger or cursing... isn't that the same level of sinning?  After thinking about all of this...I dont think God has different "levels" of sin.  I think a sin IS a sin.  Black and white.  There is no line.  Well, if the "smallest" sin is equal to that "big" sin, how do we completely wash clean ALL of our sins?  I think the answer lies with... Once you are saved, you're saved.  My aunt Janelle randomly texted me this morning and it read, "Had these words come to me last night like a flood: saved is saved.  Period.  The blood of the lamb looks the same on everyone who wears it.  There is no such thing as MORE saved, or BETTER saved, or MORE DESERVING of being saved.  There are no BETTER Christians.  If you are saved you are saved."  Wow.  Its OUTSTANDING how God can interpret ones doubts into another individuals revelation.  It think without a doubt God spoke through Janelle, to speak to me.  Basically, by God's GRACE we are saved.  We are ALL human, so therefore we WILL sin and sometimes without even acknowleding our actions as a sin.  This is why Jesus died for us.  You are accepted into heaven once you accept Jesus into your heart.  It's THAT easy.  Some may take this sinning for granted, such as... "I am going to sleep with that man, and then afterwards ask God for forgiveness of my sin."  No.  Actions such as this are taking for granted God's mercy.  God is just, which means he can see through ALL evil and good intentions.  SO to sum everything up.  Dont feel like you are walking on egg shells just because you are a Christian.  God LOVES you, and he wants you to LOVE him unconditionally back.  Once this relationship is formed, you are saved, and right in his sight. 

5 DAYS UNTIL BEGINNING THE JOURNEY TO SWAZILAND!!!!! :) 

I encourage you to go out of your way to bless someone today.  BE blessed, BLESS others. 

Camp!

This past week I camp counseled at Camp Quaker Heights in Eldora, IA.  It was SUCH a blessing!! The way the camp is set up is every camper is assigned to a counselor, and you are placed in the same cabin.  As a kid I used to LOVE attending this camp.  It's a week long full of no parental authority, and new friends :)  The minute it ended I would already be prepared for the next summers' camp to begin.  It's a time to completely seclude yourself from the rest of the world, to solely dedicate your time and energy into learning, and expanding your personal relationship and understanding of Christ.  Coming in as a counselor was a bit unnerving, because I remember from when I went to camp that my counselors played an enormous factor into my overall camp experience.  Fortunately I had an OUTSTANDING group of young gals to love on and pour into the entire week!  They all got along so excellently.  They even pushed all the bunks together in order to be closer to eachother while sleeping.  By the end of the week they all had a precious encounter with the holy spirit :)  It was amazing to see the transformation in their attitudes from the beginning of the week compared to the end.  They weren't afraid to speak their minds, and ask me questions about my own testamony of becoming a Christian.  It is so neat to be on the other end of the camp experience. God is SO incredibly good and it's truly a joy to see the love of Christ in preteens' lives.  I ask that you pray for my cabin girls, and that they  may continue their love for Christ and become hungry for the word of God! 

SWAZILAND IS IN 9 DAYS! :)  Time is FLYING!  Prayers for the team!! God bless you!

I have failed to mention that on this trip to Swaziland, there are 5 other women going and we are working as a team.  It also marks Hosea's Heart's official first annual mission trip!  To read more about Hosea's Heart, to meet the team and to read the team's stories, check out www.hoseasheart.org.  It explains the trip into further detail, and has some pictures of the home that will be renovated :) Lastly, in order for us to make any significant progress on the home this summer we need to raise $30,000.  So if you are interested in donating to Hosea's Heart PLEASE don't hesitate to contact me or someone else on the team!  We would love for you to be apart of the cause!

Today marks the beginning of the three week count down until take off :)  Thankfully I had the opportunity to just relax, catch some sun, and visit with an old friend.  While laying out on our back deck, I made sure to take extra time looking around and just soaking in the sights of all the trees, and birds.  When you just take the time to step back and really examine God's beauty, it truly can take your breath away.  I know this all sounds really cheesy.  But I mean, seriously!  I have a complete new outlook on how beautiful nature is!  So many times we take our surroundings for granted, which is such a shame.  I wish life wasn't so busy, because so much of God's peace lies directly in our back yards and we dont even recognize it.  I think this whole nature "revelation" is just a taste of what God will reveal to me when I get back home.  I haven't even left yet and I know the amount of waste in America will disgust me when I witness first hand actual poverty.  I will finally have the ability to unfortunately place a face behind a statistic.   

Lately, I've been asking God how in the world I am suppose to even BEGIN preparing myself for this upcoming trip.  It is so difficult to even know where to start.  This morning I chose to wear my World Food Prize polo, which I received in October at a conference that invited world known leaders to discuss the ongoing world hunger crisis, and crop sustainability.  Wearing this polo got me thinking about how someday I can end up speaking at this conference 30 years from now discussing the hundreds of ways I have fought against world hunger.  Due to the fact that as of now I don't plan on majoring in Agriculture, Math, OR Scientific research... I have not a clue how this could ever  happen.  Then I started to feel depressed and guilty due to my lack of potentially ever stopping world hunger or any other nationally horrific statistics.  This is when God dropped a thought in my rapid and everchanging thought process... "Lindsay, you CAN'T save the world physically, but through CHRIST you can save them spiritually, which leads to eternal life, not just temporary life."   Holy smokes.  This thought has been on my mind ALL DAY LONG. Why do we all consume our futures with wildly complex majors and goals when REALLY all we need to do as Christians is extend a loving hand and heart?  No I am definitely not saying that becoming a world leader, doctor, or a disease prevention expert is a bad idea.  Its an AMAZING idea!  If you can do that, DO IT!  But, for people like me who most likely don't have any of those things in your deck of cards...please, just be content.  Be perfectly content with your occupation, personality, and abilities... just LOVE all God's people and you can accomplish great things no matter where you may be.  "Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think." Ephesians 3:20

Following You

Hello friends!  My name is Lindsay Crouse, I am 18 years old, and I live Iowa.  In a mere 22 days, I will be boarding a plane for my first mission trip overseas with Hosea’s Heart.  When people ask me what my plans are for the summer and I mention Swaziland, it still just seems like one massive joke.  I still cannot completely wrap my head around the concept, and I don’t think it will become reality for me until I’m finally boarding the plane.  Besides the constant disbelief of my nearing endeavor, here is my story of how I have wound up preparing to leave for Swaziland, Africa. J

On December 31, of 2011, I got on a bus headed for Atlanta, Georgia alongside a large group of people headed to a conference known as Passion 2012.  Passion lasted for about 5 days, and was without a doubt one of the best experiences of my life.  At Passion, there were world known inspirational speakers such as Francis Chan, and John Piper.  On top of that, there were a never-ending stream of incredibly amazing Christian worship leaders such as Chris Tomlin, and David Crowder Band.  The main concept of the entire week was to not only build your relationship with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, but the planners, speakers, and bands did a phenomenal job of further expanding the audiences’ understanding of the ongoing battle of slavery, and sex trafficking around the world today.  They showed us videos of personal interviews with victims of the slave industry.  Every new clip not only caused me to experience nausea and disgust, but a sense of conviction.  Passion thankfully gave us the opportunity to donate to the cause.  As a whole we ended up raising an insane amount of money to various organizations such as IJM, Tiny Hands, and the A21 Project.  Praise Jesus!! This news completely thrilled me, but for some reason I still felt convicted and almost guilty.  One of the last nights of Passion, they showed us one of the most intense videos.  Immediately afterwards a worship leader began to sing a super pumped up joyous song to the Lord.  As I looked around, everyone looked as if they were all just hit by a bus.  I couldn’t stand to sit there and join in on worship as if everything felt ok.  At this point I was incredibly frustrated of why God has allowed all this to happen.  “Jesus.  Those are YOUR CHILDREN and they are in SO MUCH pain!!   What more can we do for these people?  Where do we start?!”  These were some of the thoughts flying through my brain.  Throughout the process I just felt God telling me. ….“Go.”  At this point, I was WAY more than puzzled and frustrated.  Last summer I went to Los Angeles, and my parents had a difficult time even allowing me to go there.  So how on earth would I be capable of saying “Oh hey mom and dad!  I’m female and 18 years old.  This summer I would like to fly to a foreign country and fight against sex trafficking!  Good idea huh?”  …… Yeah….. I thought for sure it would be a simple “ummm no,” from my parents.  So as the music started playing after this clip that lead me to all of these thoughts, I headed for the hallway and just stood there in bewilderment and prayer.  My friend Gabe thankfully came around the corner with open ears willing to listen to what was currently on my heart.  At the end I expressed to him that I will probably just wait until I’m much older to do anything about it.  He said something that really pushed me towards actually considering the possibility of actually doing something about my conviction.  “Lindsay, if God has called you to go, then He will make it happen.  It doesn’t matter what you think your parents will say.  If you are meant to go on a mission trip to fight for this cause, God will open a door.”  Sure enough… he was right J

When I got home from Passion, my best friend Rachael Schaeffer came over and I poured out my whole heart about everything that went on.  I literally got out my notebook and re-preached every messege to her!!  At the end of the conversation about me telling her my desire to go out and do something about it, she mentioned that her sister Beth had an awesome roommate named Mary-Kate who has the same passion and has created an organization called Hosea’s Heart.  Rachael showed me Hosea’s Heart’s facebook page, and from there I got Mary-Kate’s email J  When I sent Mary-Kate an email, I seriously wasn’t expecting a response anytime soon nor a future opportunity with Swaziland.  Just went out on a limb and thought “Oh hey, why not?  If something is meant to happen, it will!  It’s in God’s hands now.”  Before I knew it…. SHE EMAILED ME BACK! I seriously was freaking out.  Mary Kate was totally accepting, and encouraged the idea of me coming along.  Wow, God is SO GOOD.  The crazy part of it all, is that my parents have been, for the most part, pretty chill about me going to Swaziland.  They have doubts here and there, and a lot of adults keep expressing their doubts to my mother of her decision.  But through the power of prayer, God has allowed for this to mission trip to happen. J

At Passion, I had the glorious privilege of rooming with a beautiful woman named Kirsten Scheller-Suitor.  She is SO excellent, and totally radiates God’s love 24/7.  During the conference she had such a difficult time with the videos and the heartbreak of women all over the world.  She also was missing her “ninos” from her previous mission trip in the Philippines.  Kirsten throughout the trip expressed her conviction and desire to go out on another mission trip for this cause.  Immediately when lovely Rachael told me about Hosea’s Heart I texted Kirsten right away and told her about our potential opportunity.  Needless to say, Kirsten is also boarding the plane to head to Swaziland, Africa.  AND after Rachael told me about Hosea’s Heart, she started to feel convicted and now she is going too!!

God has entirely rocked my world, and revealed his ultimate power.  I have learned so far that God doesn’t take “no” or “I’ll do it later” for an answer.  Why should we ever attempt to make our own plans when in the end God has our daily agenda already completed?  I am more than excited for June 26^th to arrive, and to serve alongside the beautiful people of Swaziland, and to no longer sit on the sidelines.  About a month ago I was flipping through my journal, and in September I wrote “Lately I’ve had a huge heart for Africa.”  In September, the thought of going to Africa was such a distant goal/dream.  On January 5^th, I wrote, “I feel compelled to do mission work and help the helpless.  Lead me towards my next step in life.  I will follow you.”  And on January 16, 2012, I wrote, “Please give me a direction.  Tell me if Swaziland is where I need to be.  I love you will all my heart.  I want to always drink from your merciful well.”  WOW.  God is so good.   Now I am actually officially GOING to Swaziland.  Unbelievable.  Prayers are very much needed, because without the love of Christ this mission wouldn’t be possible! J