Every time we press that "search" button, whether it be,
SEX
LOVE
PORN
INTIMACY
JOKES
WEDDINGS
ENGAGEMENTS
BABY NAMES
PLACES TO LIVE
The list could go on. Every time you hit "search" is when the void begins to widen. I have found myself in this position too many times to keep track of. I have felt, unfulfilled, not content, unsettled, lonely, uncomfortable, or just bored. These emotions are when your heart can be the most vulnerable, in other words, when the devil seeks out the PERFECT moment to attack. He WANTS and DESIRES for our hearts to feel these things. When your gaurd is down and you are simply just searching for answers and ways to fulfill your time, he sees this as an opportunity. A way to make you feel guilty. Burdened. Depressed. Ugly. Alone. Idiotic. Stupid. He may even try to tell you that you have just gone too far. Too far from God's grace. You are an abuser. Have taken advantage of God. Have fallen astray too many times. Have asked for help too many times.
LIES
LIES
LIES
These are all LIES that the devil cant WAIT to place in your mind! He can't hardly wait to jump on the opportunity, and to bring you DOWN!
Truth is, you are HUMAN. You WILL mess up. Time and time again. You will feel filthy, worthless, hopeless, and just too distant.
So your probably saying.. ummmm yes! I have, or do feel like this, your point issss...????
Our Creator is beautiful. He's majestic. Flawless. Endless. Time can't even compare. He is LOVE, he is eternal, he is all fulfilling, he is almighty, he is powerful, he is perfect, he is all knowing, he is the Great I AM, he is EVERTHING! Thankfully we have a King whose love is wide and deep that we can never swim too far from the shore, or too close to the bottom. In these times of darkness, just call out to the Savior, and He is eager to shower you in his pure grace.
Feeling empty sucks. I know. I really do. I have been there way too many times before. Throughout my struggle, God has changed it to my journey with Him. Everytime I stumble, it is just another milestone to add to my testimony. And a new way to relate and connect with someone else. God doesn't care where you have been or what you have done, he UNDERSTANDS! He sent His son SOLELY so He could understand MORE and to help us truely WITNESS a real human living a holy life to live by!
Our sin is disgusting! But people, let it be exposed! When you start confessing and having people hold you accountable, I promise it gets easier. Living this life on earth is WAY too difficult to get through by yourself. I dont care who you are, you can't get through it on your own. You need community, people to feel joy with, people to cry with, people to encourage and people to encourage YOU. Even though people can tear other people apart, we can make eachother stronger.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Monday, November 5, 2012
college
Its November 6, 2012 at 1:06 AM... can you believe it? I have no idea how it is already November. I can believe in fact that its already passed 1. Since I've been at the University of Iowa I have yet to make it in bed before 1 AM. If I ever did it would truly be a miracle!! But honestly, I like it. I feel like at the late night hours is when God truly reveals himself to me, and when I have to intentionally focus on worshipping our Creator.
College... ahhh. I dont know where to start. Truthfully, it has been a struggle. I know for a fact that at the moment, Iowa is where God has placed me, for one specific reason. Which is to glorify Him and to make his name known. Mostly just to shower people with love and to abolish misconceptions of Christianity. As the number 2 party school...its crazy. And I love it. I love the city. The people. The other Christians that have already impacted my life. My accountability partner. My roomate. But most of all, Ive loved the opportunity to disciple girls. I love talking about Africa. I love opening up about my sin, and exposing my heart. Revealing the darkest chambers of my life just to bring others closer to Christ, and closer to discovering their own testamony. Its been such a spiritual battle here. One minute I feel completely at peace and excited that I am here. The next moment Im broken down, confused, not motivated, and constantly searching because I dont know my next step. And I know that its ignorant of me because I shouldnt have to know my next step when its all part of God's ultimate plan.
Since I've been here, God has been revealing more of my life call. Which is creating part of the battle over my head and all the havoc. None of the majors here entirely interest me... quite frankly... nothing really interests me other than Jesus. And thats part of the problem. ANYTHING I do my first thought is, "Lindsay, if the world ends in 2 minutes, you'd be wasting your time by writing that paper or reading that play for your theatre class that was written in the 1800s when you could be spending your time worshipping Jesus and socializing with others to share his sweet love and community." GAHH! This is my thought all the time! Then I think...oh hey... simple solution...enroll into a bible college and get a ministry degree... then Im like NO, you need that 4 year degree... and if you go into ministry... you need a husband to even do it with because you dont want to do it by yourself... but then i think...what if I will always be single?! and where and when will I meet my soulmate if he even exists?! Then that leads me to my biggest conflict of all.... I've never come across a denomination of a church where im like... "Wow, I entirely believe in their doctrine and I could see myself pursuing a degree amongst this faith base..." You see, Ive grown up around too many denominations and experienced too many denominations that I see the politics behind it all, and the RIDICULOUSNESS of denominations. Jesus came to ABOLISH religion and the concept of Pharisees, and here we are picking and choosing certain verses we want and dont want and want to emphasize on and dont want to emphasize on, when really... we are missing the big picture people!!! Seriously!!! Christianity really is this... Jesus came to save. THE END! Love on that. Read the bible, interpret it, spread the good news, have accountability partners, thrive in the holy spirit and be filled with JOY!!! Of course our nation NEEDS churches to survive. Church can be a place where we can grow and accept the meat and potatoes of our lives through anointed messages. I just wish we had more soley CHRISTIAN churches with no strings attached.
Basically I need prayers. Prayers for focus, for direction, and for LISTENING and to stop thinking so much about where I need to be, where I need to go, and what I need to do.
I've come to realize that I really can't do it on my own. Im only human. Without Jesus, none of us would be anywhere. We wouldnt be able to get anywhere. We would be stagnant in an endless cycle of suckiness. Call out to the Savior. Reach out your hand. Keep reaching until you feel an embrace. He is THERE. Ready to feel your stretched out desperate finger tips.
College... ahhh. I dont know where to start. Truthfully, it has been a struggle. I know for a fact that at the moment, Iowa is where God has placed me, for one specific reason. Which is to glorify Him and to make his name known. Mostly just to shower people with love and to abolish misconceptions of Christianity. As the number 2 party school...its crazy. And I love it. I love the city. The people. The other Christians that have already impacted my life. My accountability partner. My roomate. But most of all, Ive loved the opportunity to disciple girls. I love talking about Africa. I love opening up about my sin, and exposing my heart. Revealing the darkest chambers of my life just to bring others closer to Christ, and closer to discovering their own testamony. Its been such a spiritual battle here. One minute I feel completely at peace and excited that I am here. The next moment Im broken down, confused, not motivated, and constantly searching because I dont know my next step. And I know that its ignorant of me because I shouldnt have to know my next step when its all part of God's ultimate plan.
Since I've been here, God has been revealing more of my life call. Which is creating part of the battle over my head and all the havoc. None of the majors here entirely interest me... quite frankly... nothing really interests me other than Jesus. And thats part of the problem. ANYTHING I do my first thought is, "Lindsay, if the world ends in 2 minutes, you'd be wasting your time by writing that paper or reading that play for your theatre class that was written in the 1800s when you could be spending your time worshipping Jesus and socializing with others to share his sweet love and community." GAHH! This is my thought all the time! Then I think...oh hey... simple solution...enroll into a bible college and get a ministry degree... then Im like NO, you need that 4 year degree... and if you go into ministry... you need a husband to even do it with because you dont want to do it by yourself... but then i think...what if I will always be single?! and where and when will I meet my soulmate if he even exists?! Then that leads me to my biggest conflict of all.... I've never come across a denomination of a church where im like... "Wow, I entirely believe in their doctrine and I could see myself pursuing a degree amongst this faith base..." You see, Ive grown up around too many denominations and experienced too many denominations that I see the politics behind it all, and the RIDICULOUSNESS of denominations. Jesus came to ABOLISH religion and the concept of Pharisees, and here we are picking and choosing certain verses we want and dont want and want to emphasize on and dont want to emphasize on, when really... we are missing the big picture people!!! Seriously!!! Christianity really is this... Jesus came to save. THE END! Love on that. Read the bible, interpret it, spread the good news, have accountability partners, thrive in the holy spirit and be filled with JOY!!! Of course our nation NEEDS churches to survive. Church can be a place where we can grow and accept the meat and potatoes of our lives through anointed messages. I just wish we had more soley CHRISTIAN churches with no strings attached.
Basically I need prayers. Prayers for focus, for direction, and for LISTENING and to stop thinking so much about where I need to be, where I need to go, and what I need to do.
I've come to realize that I really can't do it on my own. Im only human. Without Jesus, none of us would be anywhere. We wouldnt be able to get anywhere. We would be stagnant in an endless cycle of suckiness. Call out to the Savior. Reach out your hand. Keep reaching until you feel an embrace. He is THERE. Ready to feel your stretched out desperate finger tips.
Monday, August 27, 2012
The Good-bye.
So, as you all can see. I blogged last night. But after this morning reading through my teammates Kirsten and Christina's blog, my heart feels so stirred up. And it made me realize that I never blogged about the "good-bye." To be completely honest, I feel like I've almost been deliberately avoiding talking about it. With so many people asking "How was Africa?" or saying "Tell me about Africa." The whole concept of me actually being in Africa has become really blurred for me. Emotionally, all of this has really taken a toll on my heart. I want to go back so incredibly bad. Words wont serve justice to describing how badly I want to go back. I want to go back and embrace the family our team left behind.
Daisy, the 10 year old girl from the carepoint that I bonded with so well, disappeared the last weekend we had in Swaziland. We looked and asked around for her the last Saturday and Sunday we had left. Unfortunately, I never got to have one last final good-bye. I never got to tell her face to face how much she means to me and how much she has impacted me. I never got to embrace her with all that I am, and tell her to be strong.
Ayanda...where do I begin. I cant even describe how much I miss her. I miss staying up late in bed with her and listening to her giggle and tell me more about her life. The morning we left, she crawled into bed with me at about 5:30 AM. I was so out of it, but in the midst of waking up, I managed to realize and say "Ayanda, this is the last time we get to cuddle..." Ayanda being so positive, said, "No, we will cuddle again next year." After all the drama with our shuttle bus driver to the airport, we literally only had TWO MINUTES to say our final good byes to Ayanda and Johannes. There was SO MUCH I wanted to say to Ayanda, that in the midst of all my sobbing, I couldnt make out the words. While hugging Ayanda, I said, "I love you, and Im going to miss you." Once again, with Ayanda staying strong, but on the verge of tears, said, "No, we can talk on the phone when Mary Kate calls." Always so positive. Courageous. Optimistic. Beautiful.
I could write about so many other of the amazing Swaziland people. But bottom line is, I want to go back. I dont know when God will lead me there, but I just know deep down that I have to go back.
Since I've been back, unfortunately I havent really had the time to just relish amongst God's beauty and soak in the fact that Im not in Africa anymore. It's alot harder that I originally thought it would be. And alot more difficult to entirely take in, and process all that I've seen, and experienced.
Fortunately, I know that God has a plan. I know that I can rest in that fact, and really just be still and remain in His peace. Prayers are needed that I can commit and find the right campus ministry for me here at the University of Iowa. And pray that I can come up with more ways to spread the word about Hosea's Heart!
God bless you all, go out and make this day COUNT!
Read Psalm 23. :)
Lindiwe
Daisy, the 10 year old girl from the carepoint that I bonded with so well, disappeared the last weekend we had in Swaziland. We looked and asked around for her the last Saturday and Sunday we had left. Unfortunately, I never got to have one last final good-bye. I never got to tell her face to face how much she means to me and how much she has impacted me. I never got to embrace her with all that I am, and tell her to be strong.
Ayanda...where do I begin. I cant even describe how much I miss her. I miss staying up late in bed with her and listening to her giggle and tell me more about her life. The morning we left, she crawled into bed with me at about 5:30 AM. I was so out of it, but in the midst of waking up, I managed to realize and say "Ayanda, this is the last time we get to cuddle..." Ayanda being so positive, said, "No, we will cuddle again next year." After all the drama with our shuttle bus driver to the airport, we literally only had TWO MINUTES to say our final good byes to Ayanda and Johannes. There was SO MUCH I wanted to say to Ayanda, that in the midst of all my sobbing, I couldnt make out the words. While hugging Ayanda, I said, "I love you, and Im going to miss you." Once again, with Ayanda staying strong, but on the verge of tears, said, "No, we can talk on the phone when Mary Kate calls." Always so positive. Courageous. Optimistic. Beautiful.
I could write about so many other of the amazing Swaziland people. But bottom line is, I want to go back. I dont know when God will lead me there, but I just know deep down that I have to go back.
Since I've been back, unfortunately I havent really had the time to just relish amongst God's beauty and soak in the fact that Im not in Africa anymore. It's alot harder that I originally thought it would be. And alot more difficult to entirely take in, and process all that I've seen, and experienced.
Fortunately, I know that God has a plan. I know that I can rest in that fact, and really just be still and remain in His peace. Prayers are needed that I can commit and find the right campus ministry for me here at the University of Iowa. And pray that I can come up with more ways to spread the word about Hosea's Heart!
God bless you all, go out and make this day COUNT!
Read Psalm 23. :)
Lindiwe
Sunday, August 26, 2012
On American soil.
Hello all! On July 31st at approximately 7:00 PM, we landed in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Leaving Swaziland was by far one of the hardest things Ive ever had to deal with. It definitely makes my "top 5 hardest crys of my life" list. Ever since I've left, Ive wanted to go back. I want to be thrown back into the sea of chocolate faces. I want to be the minority. I want to hear "Sabona!" or "Umulungu!" I miss the accents. The crazy driving. The dirt. The smell. The warm embraces of the all the stick thin arms. I miss the feeling of getting my hair aggressively braided. I miss how filthy I would feel after a long day of being out and about. I miss wearing no makeup, and not showering often. I miss wearing long skirts. I miss recieving precious little notes from children. I miss being called "teacha!" and "magay!" I miss the sound of the constant dog barking. I miss African church, and the free spirit of dancing. I miss the warm smiles, and appreciative attitudes. I miss the selfless and unconditional loving personalities. I miss the evident faithfulness to Christ they all had. I miss the acceptance and the poverty. I miss the smell of maize meal. I miss having rice and veggies almost EVERY night. I miss being charged at from African children. I miss eating at KFC with the prostitute girls. I miss telling a broken girl... I love you. I miss Swaziland. Most of all, I miss the people, more than anything.
Honestly...I've been struggling. College has been a struggle. I have been struggling with my identity, my place in life, and just trying to fit in. I miss hearing Ayanda's laugh. Her note still kills me... "I wish I had more time to tell you more of my story." or Londi's comment when I was packing... "Please dont forget about us." uhh. How can I not let remarks such as these puncture and wound my heart forever.
To sum everything up... I am going back to Swaziland. One way...or another. I dont know when...or how. But, I just know deep down that God will guide me there once again.
Thanks again for everyones unconditional support, love, donations, and prayers.
Prayers are still needed as I continue to embark on my journey here in college.
With all my love,
Lindiwe
Honestly...I've been struggling. College has been a struggle. I have been struggling with my identity, my place in life, and just trying to fit in. I miss hearing Ayanda's laugh. Her note still kills me... "I wish I had more time to tell you more of my story." or Londi's comment when I was packing... "Please dont forget about us." uhh. How can I not let remarks such as these puncture and wound my heart forever.
To sum everything up... I am going back to Swaziland. One way...or another. I dont know when...or how. But, I just know deep down that God will guide me there once again.
Thanks again for everyones unconditional support, love, donations, and prayers.
Prayers are still needed as I continue to embark on my journey here in college.
With all my love,
Lindiwe
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Eish!
Eish... one of the many expressions I am going to miss :( Cant quite wrap my head around the fact that I've been here in Swaziland for already 31 days and I leave in 2. So incredibly bittersweet. I am going to miss the simplicity. The slow walking. The abundance of walking. The mountains. The sunsets. The palm trees. The kids at the care point. The smell. The rice and beans. The girls that struggle with prostitution. The sleep overs with our Swazi friends. Our night acoustic guitar worship sets. The random cows. The awful destructive driving. Hearing... "Umulungo!" (which means white person). Being called beautiful by some random dude even when I'm not wearing any makeup and haven't showered in 4 days. The sounds of the nocturnal wild dogs every night while in the bed. Being so dirty from a long day, that I am a shade darker from all the multicolored dirt I am covered in. Wearing skirts, and nonmatching t-shirts every single day. Seeing the beauty amongst all the poverty. Witnessing true love and reliance upon God among the beautiful Swazi people. Riding in the back of a pick up. Not wearing a seat belt because they simply just dont have them here. No texting. Talking in a funny British/Swazi accent everyone has here. Being proposed to EVERY where you go. Eish... the list could go on. A part of my heart will without a doubt be left here in Swaziland.
The last time I blogged was on Tuesday, and I ended up getting an awful case of the flu on Wednesday and Thursday. I was at the carepoint on Tuesday afternoon and I'm pretty sure I picked up the illness from there. One of the girls that I've wrote about previously, Daisy, told me she had a stomach ache and wasnt feeling well on Tuesday, but she is SO cute and I love her so much that I didn't really think twice about keeping my distance. I unfortunately have to say good bye to her today, and Im without a doubt going to cry. Eish. Its going to be so hard. I WANT TO TAKE HER HOME. I am going to miss the warmth and comfort of her frail body and her sweet compassion and giving heart :( On Thursday the rest of the crew went on the Safari, and they had a great time!! I was really really bummed that I couldn't go, but I know it wont be my last opportunity for an African safari. So much life left ahead :) Friday we went to South Africa for another VISA so we aren't fined, and we visited another beautiful orphanage. We also had a sleepover with the crew last night and I got to share a bed with the beautiful Ayanda :) I love her so much. It was SUCH a blessing to stay up for a while listening to her many stories. The way we live is SO different. She is so incredibly hardworking. Next time I feel lazy I think all I have to do is think of her and it will be enough to motivate me!
Thank you all so much for your unbelievable support and prayers. I could feel your love and prayers all the way over here in Swaziland. I cant tell you how much I appreciate all the comments and responses I've gotten from blogging, and just knowing that someone cares! I will be blogging when I get back about more experiences and my transition and such. Once again THANK YOU!!!!!
With SO SO SO SO MUCH love,
Lindsay :)
P.S. Prayers are needed for the travels! And for my motion sickness ;-/ I hope to not throw up in London again ;-/ I will be arriving in the States on Tuesday night :)
The last time I blogged was on Tuesday, and I ended up getting an awful case of the flu on Wednesday and Thursday. I was at the carepoint on Tuesday afternoon and I'm pretty sure I picked up the illness from there. One of the girls that I've wrote about previously, Daisy, told me she had a stomach ache and wasnt feeling well on Tuesday, but she is SO cute and I love her so much that I didn't really think twice about keeping my distance. I unfortunately have to say good bye to her today, and Im without a doubt going to cry. Eish. Its going to be so hard. I WANT TO TAKE HER HOME. I am going to miss the warmth and comfort of her frail body and her sweet compassion and giving heart :( On Thursday the rest of the crew went on the Safari, and they had a great time!! I was really really bummed that I couldn't go, but I know it wont be my last opportunity for an African safari. So much life left ahead :) Friday we went to South Africa for another VISA so we aren't fined, and we visited another beautiful orphanage. We also had a sleepover with the crew last night and I got to share a bed with the beautiful Ayanda :) I love her so much. It was SUCH a blessing to stay up for a while listening to her many stories. The way we live is SO different. She is so incredibly hardworking. Next time I feel lazy I think all I have to do is think of her and it will be enough to motivate me!
Thank you all so much for your unbelievable support and prayers. I could feel your love and prayers all the way over here in Swaziland. I cant tell you how much I appreciate all the comments and responses I've gotten from blogging, and just knowing that someone cares! I will be blogging when I get back about more experiences and my transition and such. Once again THANK YOU!!!!!
With SO SO SO SO MUCH love,
Lindsay :)
P.S. Prayers are needed for the travels! And for my motion sickness ;-/ I hope to not throw up in London again ;-/ I will be arriving in the States on Tuesday night :)
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
So. Many. Miracles.
Hello everyone! I am really sorry for the worry that I may have caused anyone by not getting on the internet this past Saturday! I ended up spending the day with Chanita Foster whose husband plays NFL football for the Indianapolis Colts! 5 years ago she was called to Swaziland by God and now has a nonprofit organization called Beyond The Game. She has started many schools and carepoints around the country! The day was SUCH a blessing and I had the opportunity to travel more to the rural parts of Swaziland. The specific place we were at was literally the stereo type of what you think of when you think of Africa. There was monkies on the side of the road, mud huts with grass rooves, and it was so HOT! Many of the kids have never seen a white person, and there were kids appearing from 2 miles down the road because there is no cars or electricity in this specific area. It was like I stepped into a time portal. I discovered that all of the Swaziland used to be like this 10 years ago until Taiwan decided to donate a certain amount of money for updates, and from there cities have developed everywhere. But there are still many parts of Swaziland that have not yet been reached. I was really grateful to meet Chanita, and I think God specifically set this up. I say this because before this past Saturday I was literally thinking "I dont want to go back to my old life. How can I honestly live in America and impact lives when I've seen and witnessed so much poverty?" Then I meet Chanita. She obviously lives in America, and has an abundance of money. But God has blessed her with this nonprofit organization and she travels to Africa for one week every month. Her time in the States is dedicated to fundraising and building support, as well as raising a family of 6 kids and 2 horses. Wow. This has really inspired me.
Normally I blog about each specific day, but I feel like SO MUCH has happened that I would be here for hours! So I am just going to go through all the key points and touch base on all of those. And especially all the miracles God has performed. :)
1. I had a wild impaca (I dont know how to spell this) nuzzle me, lick my hand and try to eat my hair.
2. Ive been proposed to with 17 cows and 3 dogs.
3. Last Tuesday I think it was? Our team felt called by God to go into the Squatter Camp, find prostitutes, and have lunch with them. When this idea was revealed by God we all thought it was really crazy. But through the grace of God and by trusting him...we did JUST that. We went in, found SIX prostitutes, bought them lunch. I found out that these lovely woman...are all around my age. One that I spent the most time with, Sonto, is 18, 5 months pregnant, lives in the Squatter camp, is abused physically by her boyfriend, and is still a prostitute. Nokwanda- 16 years old, no father, lives in the Squatter camp, dropped out of school, and is still a prostitute. The stories could unfortunately go on. While out with the girls, Nokwanda randomly turned to me and asked, "Lindiwe, do you drink?" I responded, "No, do you?" She kind of hesitated, and said "Yes. But only on Friday and Saturday nights because I have to..." This response will also be like a dagger to my heart. Ever since we went out, we have not been able to find her since. We got her in an interview and she admitted she needed help. Notando (who also is 18 and has a child) also openly admitted she needed help. After taking them out once, we took them out again 2 days later, and then afterwards brought them into our home to spend more quality time. They are just like us. Young women, who love to dance and laugh. They give themselves to men just so they can get by in life, and purchase all the necessities. Something as simple as soap, they go and prostitute themselves for. Normally for E20 a man, which is just under 5 American dollars. Disgusting. I HATE that these men have made them feel so worthless, and they feel so trapped. When they left our house they said "Can you come find us for church in the morning?" Um... YES!!! So on Sunday (which was just two days ago) we headed over to the Squatter Camp to find them, and we did. Although they refused to get in the Kombi with us. It was just Sonto and Notando who came up, and you could tell they REALLY wanted to, but something was holding them back. Kirsten and I were literally BEGGING them to get IN the kombi...but it got to the point where the large van was moving backwards and Kirsten and I had to jump in at last minute to catch the ride ourselves. We walked over a mile for these girls on Sunday morning to get them for church, and they were refusing to come with. I was beyond frusturated. As we pulled away I just looked out the window and immediately started praying, "Dear Heavenly Father, I pray that you place some sense of guilt in their hearts and some how GET them to church." .................
4. During the service I turned around and looked out the tent to see...Tenele, Sonto, and Notando...WALKING UP THE HILL! Our God is SO GOOD! That walk is LONG. We offered a ride for these girls, and God answered the prayers and made them show up!!
5. The Pastors words, "Well, I prepared a messege last Monday, but I feel the Spirit is leading me in a different direction." ....The entire service consisted of a messege about not selling your bodies off, self worth, "an abusive boyfriend isnt one that loves you", beauty, etc. It was SO blunt and I think if the pastor knew that there was prostitutes in the church he wouldnt have been so blunt, but its EXACTLY what the girls needed to hear.
6. At the end of the service he had an alter call. The call was if you wanted to recieve the POWER to resist the devil, and all the evil desires of this world. WHAT!?!?! I was shaking at this point in complete shock of all the revalance. God REALLY wanted those girls to be there and it wasnt any accident they showed up. I began praying so hard and rapidly, "God please please please do what ever you can to GET THEM UP FRONT!" And my eyes opened to the sound of a scream I will never forget. It was a scream filled with agonizing pain, along with a sense of relief.
7. Notando, Sonto, and Tenele were ALL up front. The scream came from Notando who was on the floor, shaking, screaming and crying. There were people literally holding her down because her body was heaving so powerfully... It didnt take me long to realize that I was literally witnessing an evil spirit being cast out of Notando's body. I know this sound completely CREEPY, fake and unreal. But it HAPPENED. Tears started inevitably streaming down my face in complete joy and praise to our Almighty God. Never thought in a million years that I would be witnessing such a divine miracle. It's made me realize that our society takes a prayers so lightly and doesnt completely understand the power of prayer. When you pray a prayer, and are serious about a result, God means business. Even re-writing this gives me the chills, and I feel totally filled with disbelief.
God loves ALL. These women are so beautiful. It's going to be SO hard leaving in 6 days, feeling unsure if people will keep them accountable. Prayers are NEEDED for these women!!!
8. ANOTHER MIRACLE. So do you remember when I wrote about how when I was at the Hope House for the first time and when I layed hands on that one man to pray I felt really overwhelmed and I began to cry? Well....After the prayer he was confident he would be walking in a week. Guess what...HES WALKING!!! He will be leaving the Hope House soon :)
9. We also had a meeting last week with some people who live here, and they are really excited about the girls home and REALLY want it to get up and moving. Our God is so good. :) We are now just in the process of verifying a contracter for renovations because the home is in A LOT of immediate need. MONEY IS NEEDED for the home to be done. Our goal is to have girls in the home within a year!
10. We had a sleep over last week with some of the girls and they NEVER get to take baths and showers so they were having SO much fun and were shreeking with glee the entire time they were in the bathroom! Makes me grateful for every single shower I get to recieve. We are so incredibly blessed.
A lot more has happened, but I tried my best to convey most of the miracles! Prayers are still greatly needed! Especially that God will use our team as vessels and coworkers this last week we have in Swaziland that we can accomplish what we havent yet!
With MUCH love,
Lindsay :)
Normally I blog about each specific day, but I feel like SO MUCH has happened that I would be here for hours! So I am just going to go through all the key points and touch base on all of those. And especially all the miracles God has performed. :)
1. I had a wild impaca (I dont know how to spell this) nuzzle me, lick my hand and try to eat my hair.
2. Ive been proposed to with 17 cows and 3 dogs.
3. Last Tuesday I think it was? Our team felt called by God to go into the Squatter Camp, find prostitutes, and have lunch with them. When this idea was revealed by God we all thought it was really crazy. But through the grace of God and by trusting him...we did JUST that. We went in, found SIX prostitutes, bought them lunch. I found out that these lovely woman...are all around my age. One that I spent the most time with, Sonto, is 18, 5 months pregnant, lives in the Squatter camp, is abused physically by her boyfriend, and is still a prostitute. Nokwanda- 16 years old, no father, lives in the Squatter camp, dropped out of school, and is still a prostitute. The stories could unfortunately go on. While out with the girls, Nokwanda randomly turned to me and asked, "Lindiwe, do you drink?" I responded, "No, do you?" She kind of hesitated, and said "Yes. But only on Friday and Saturday nights because I have to..." This response will also be like a dagger to my heart. Ever since we went out, we have not been able to find her since. We got her in an interview and she admitted she needed help. Notando (who also is 18 and has a child) also openly admitted she needed help. After taking them out once, we took them out again 2 days later, and then afterwards brought them into our home to spend more quality time. They are just like us. Young women, who love to dance and laugh. They give themselves to men just so they can get by in life, and purchase all the necessities. Something as simple as soap, they go and prostitute themselves for. Normally for E20 a man, which is just under 5 American dollars. Disgusting. I HATE that these men have made them feel so worthless, and they feel so trapped. When they left our house they said "Can you come find us for church in the morning?" Um... YES!!! So on Sunday (which was just two days ago) we headed over to the Squatter Camp to find them, and we did. Although they refused to get in the Kombi with us. It was just Sonto and Notando who came up, and you could tell they REALLY wanted to, but something was holding them back. Kirsten and I were literally BEGGING them to get IN the kombi...but it got to the point where the large van was moving backwards and Kirsten and I had to jump in at last minute to catch the ride ourselves. We walked over a mile for these girls on Sunday morning to get them for church, and they were refusing to come with. I was beyond frusturated. As we pulled away I just looked out the window and immediately started praying, "Dear Heavenly Father, I pray that you place some sense of guilt in their hearts and some how GET them to church." .................
4. During the service I turned around and looked out the tent to see...Tenele, Sonto, and Notando...WALKING UP THE HILL! Our God is SO GOOD! That walk is LONG. We offered a ride for these girls, and God answered the prayers and made them show up!!
5. The Pastors words, "Well, I prepared a messege last Monday, but I feel the Spirit is leading me in a different direction." ....The entire service consisted of a messege about not selling your bodies off, self worth, "an abusive boyfriend isnt one that loves you", beauty, etc. It was SO blunt and I think if the pastor knew that there was prostitutes in the church he wouldnt have been so blunt, but its EXACTLY what the girls needed to hear.
6. At the end of the service he had an alter call. The call was if you wanted to recieve the POWER to resist the devil, and all the evil desires of this world. WHAT!?!?! I was shaking at this point in complete shock of all the revalance. God REALLY wanted those girls to be there and it wasnt any accident they showed up. I began praying so hard and rapidly, "God please please please do what ever you can to GET THEM UP FRONT!" And my eyes opened to the sound of a scream I will never forget. It was a scream filled with agonizing pain, along with a sense of relief.
7. Notando, Sonto, and Tenele were ALL up front. The scream came from Notando who was on the floor, shaking, screaming and crying. There were people literally holding her down because her body was heaving so powerfully... It didnt take me long to realize that I was literally witnessing an evil spirit being cast out of Notando's body. I know this sound completely CREEPY, fake and unreal. But it HAPPENED. Tears started inevitably streaming down my face in complete joy and praise to our Almighty God. Never thought in a million years that I would be witnessing such a divine miracle. It's made me realize that our society takes a prayers so lightly and doesnt completely understand the power of prayer. When you pray a prayer, and are serious about a result, God means business. Even re-writing this gives me the chills, and I feel totally filled with disbelief.
God loves ALL. These women are so beautiful. It's going to be SO hard leaving in 6 days, feeling unsure if people will keep them accountable. Prayers are NEEDED for these women!!!
8. ANOTHER MIRACLE. So do you remember when I wrote about how when I was at the Hope House for the first time and when I layed hands on that one man to pray I felt really overwhelmed and I began to cry? Well....After the prayer he was confident he would be walking in a week. Guess what...HES WALKING!!! He will be leaving the Hope House soon :)
9. We also had a meeting last week with some people who live here, and they are really excited about the girls home and REALLY want it to get up and moving. Our God is so good. :) We are now just in the process of verifying a contracter for renovations because the home is in A LOT of immediate need. MONEY IS NEEDED for the home to be done. Our goal is to have girls in the home within a year!
10. We had a sleep over last week with some of the girls and they NEVER get to take baths and showers so they were having SO much fun and were shreeking with glee the entire time they were in the bathroom! Makes me grateful for every single shower I get to recieve. We are so incredibly blessed.
A lot more has happened, but I tried my best to convey most of the miracles! Prayers are still greatly needed! Especially that God will use our team as vessels and coworkers this last week we have in Swaziland that we can accomplish what we havent yet!
With MUCH love,
Lindsay :)
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Another beautiful week in Swazi :)
Hello all!! Its so nice to be blogging again and updating you all on my past week's endeavors! Cant believe an entire week has gone by and im once again sitting in the internet cafe figuring out how I can go about explaining my experiences. Ill go through day by day and relay ONLY the significant things that happened! :) I wish I could give you all the info I did last time, but I dont have as much time today.
Sunday July 8th
We left the house at 8:45 and headed to the Squadder camp to search for Tenele, Ayanda, and Johannes. We tried to get Sedrick (Tenele's boyfriend) to with us to church, but he LITERALLY ran away from us. The Squadder camp was severely depressing and eye opening. There were little dogs chained up and all that was left of them was skin and bones. It was extremely difficult not to pick one up and take it home with me. It took awhile to round the crew all up. Swazi's honestly have no concept of time management. Id have to say it may be rubbing off on me a bit, but im late for everything anyways, so I fit right in! :) Its so incredibly chill here. In the camp there were drunk people walking around at 9 AM on a Sunday morning. After the crew was ready we made our way to the kumbi station. When we arrived and were headed our to the bottom, men were literally screaming at us in Siswati and trying to lure us towards them. I tried to avoid as much eye contact as possible. They were trying to marry one of us. All this time Ayanda was holding my hand and I asked her, "Do they normally act like this?" And she just said, "not really, they just go crazy over you white girls." haha! She was finding all of this to be quite amusing. Honestly I felt disgusted and really degraded. The men were only viewing us as mere objects. I truly got a taste of what its like for the young Swaziland women who endure this every day to earn money :(
Monday July 9th
At assembly at Enjawbeni School~ I absolutely adore hearing their african songs and voices. They seriously blow America out of the water when it comes to singing and dancing. These girls came out dressed in some cultural garb and started doing this awesome African tribal dance. The kids were hotting and hollerin and cheering the ladies on, and some occasionally jumped in themselves. aTTHen some guy s stole the show and did the same dance. After assembly, Kirsten and I went to the 1st grade class (where I knew Nokwanda would be). Today I actually discovered Ningwani's name is actually Nokwanda! Ive been pronouncing and writing her name wrong all this time. But she responds to both pronunciations, so it must just sound the same to her. They were learning about what jobs exist and sentence structure in English. WE left a little earlier because we were starting to get a little tired sitting and lisening to such basic eduation. SHortly it was break and Nokwanda and her friends came and cuddled and hungout with Kirsten and I. They are SO sweet. Tehy started calling Kirsten and I magy which means mother in English... One of the girls that was with us named Seke told us that her mom ran away to South Africa and her dad is dead :( She currently lives with her grandmother. Later we saw her running around town with no shoes :( Breaks my heart. It also turns out tht Nokwanda's mom stays in the Squadder camp in Mangonani every day and her dad does "things"....The girls seemed really hesitant to explain to me his exact occupation. This really concerns me. I seriously want to take thiese kids ho me with me. THey live in poverty, and call me mother. How can I not fall in love?! After break we went to the preschool and played 2 circle games with the kids. Shortly they were all sitting down and the CUTEST little girl in the universe started waving me over so I sat by her feet :) She kept touching my hair and back really gently. ITs amazing how hungry for love these kids are. I mean they were just quickly touching me just to touch me. And during the games they were getting in arguments over who got to hold my hand...
Later in this day we FINALLY got to see Hosea's Heart house :) Soon this house will hopefully be FILLED with girls who are at risk or have been abused through prostitution, slavery, etc. The house needs ALOT of work. The ceiling is caved in in certain places, walls are cracking, and its just got a lot of work left. Funds are needed SO badly in order to get this process moving. The house is a wonderful size though, and it is so EXCITING to see the beautiful potential this house has :) Thrilled to come back in 2 or 3 years to witness the dramatic alterations and to hopefully see it filled with girls! Right now we are trying to finalize a contracter from South Africa. But with African time, things take awhile. Prayers are NEEDED. Fortunately Tenele officially said she wants to move out from Sedrick and get away. PRAISE GOD! Mary Kate (our leader) met Tenele when she was 12 as a prostitute. Her step mom was selling her off to men. So she decided to run away and make her own profit instead of her mother getting all the money. Eventually she got pregnant and not has a BEAUTIFUL baby girl whom she named after Mary Kate. She now goes to church and still currently living with the baby daddy Sedrick. Sedrick actually was one of the men her step mother sold her off to. Tenele is ready to move out and completely cut ties. PRAYERS ARE NEEDED! We may be able to buy a temporary home for Tenele and Christina (the social worker on our team) to stay in and that way more girls we come in contact with can stay in that home until Hosea's Hearts official home is completed :) This is honestly amazing progresss.
I wrote this while completely overwhemed earlier this week....
"I feel so filled with the Spirit of God, and incredibly convicted. Am I not doing enough? I know that I am currently in Africa. But being here was really made me realize how much I hold onto. Luke 14:33- "So you cannot become a disciple without giving up everything you own." Wow. That is SO much to take in at once. How do I live in the States and not rely on things of this world? What is ok and whats not? Where do we as Christians draw the line? God, please break my heart for what breaks yours. Flee demons away in Jesus name. I pray you reveal my calling throughout this trip. I feel a call to adopt one day, and to love on the broken. Give me guidance. I honestly feel like not washing my hair, wearing no makeup, and going barefoot for the rest of this trip just to become more on their level and to experience their daily way of life. They live so simply here, with such simple intentions that are slowly branding my heart. Melt and mold me into a beautiful image of you. I am here. I want to answer your call, I am listening. Passion laughs at the hold of hell. "
Immediately after writing this, I flipped through my bible and prayed, "God, please just show me what I need to read." And I came across this... Colossians 1:18~ "So he is first in everything."
Tuesday July 10
Went to the Hope House again on this day :) Its so nice praying and singing for the patients. One of the grandpas wanted one of us to stay with him and be his wife. Thank God for my purity ring because everyone mistakes it for a wedding ring! :) They are all excited to see us come back next week, and it was awesome to see that they reemberd us, and seemed genuinely delighted to see us. Its inspiring to see their positive attitudes about being healed in Jesus name.
Went to care point again--LOVE IT THERE. Seriously could live there. I wish I could bathe them, continue to shower them with love, and bring them home :) Mom, you would easily fall in love quickly ;p
Later we had dinner at the volunteer house. Austrian style lasagna! At one dinner we were representing 4 countries! It was such a nice evening. Unfortunately from the meal Rachael, Mary Kate, and one of the Austrians got food poisoning :( Wednesday was pretty miserable for them all ;-/
Wednesday July 11
Went over to the school again today and we first went to the 6th grade thinking we would only be there briefly... Turns out that the teacher literally just left the class and told them he would be back tomorrow...?!?! This kind of thing happens often in Swaziland apparently! So Rachael, Kirsten, and I were the teachers until after lunch time. We had a blast, although the students treated us very poorly. We love them all, but they were extremely rowdy and basically super pumped to have a substitute teacher for a day to just let loose. The thing with Swazi culture is that teachers are allowed to use physical force. Sticks, books, hand, you name it. And we were not about to be using any of that style of discipline. Definitely a good experience!
Went to carepoint again. Lots I could say, but one story that I think youll find amusing...
So when we first walked up to the carepoint there was a little girl whom none of us have seem yet, so when we got closer she ended up screaming at the top of her lungs and began to sprint down into the Sqaudder camp! Apparently we are the first white people she has ever seen! Her face was so incredibly flooded with pure confusion and fear!!
Thursday July 12
In the evening we had a birthday party for Ayanda! This is the second party she has EVER had in her life. Although her and her crew were literally 2 and a half hours late for her own party, she ended up having a blast :) We had chocolate cake for her! She lives in the Squadder camp, and has SO much character and SUCH a personality. When she opened our gifts, she immediately started giving AWAY some of the american candy to her friends...talk about selfless. She is so sweet. She also got my Nike tennis shoes, and she was wearing them Thursday and they fit PERFECT! ahhh it made me so happy. She is SO deserving and a perfect example of how we should all be striving to live. Very mature for only being 16!!
Friday July 13
Today I received the most precious note from a student :) Absolutely framing it when I get home. I named her Nicole because her Swazi name is too hard to write/pronounce! I love that we are here for a month, because we are finally able to get deeper with the Swazi people, and at a better place to learn more about their lives and what we can do to help them. Turns out that there is a large number of sexually abused girls that go to the school we volunteer at... PERFECT!!! Prayers we may continue to dig deeper into their lives and hopefully offer up the home to a few girls who need immediate help!
This week over all has been truly amazing. It went by SO fast, but in one week I feel as if God has accomplished so much with the girls home, in my own life, and with the Swazi people in general. Funds are still needed for the girls home for the construction!!!
Thank you for all the support, with out you, this wouldnt be possible!
With an abundance of love,
Lindsay :)
Sunday July 8th
We left the house at 8:45 and headed to the Squadder camp to search for Tenele, Ayanda, and Johannes. We tried to get Sedrick (Tenele's boyfriend) to with us to church, but he LITERALLY ran away from us. The Squadder camp was severely depressing and eye opening. There were little dogs chained up and all that was left of them was skin and bones. It was extremely difficult not to pick one up and take it home with me. It took awhile to round the crew all up. Swazi's honestly have no concept of time management. Id have to say it may be rubbing off on me a bit, but im late for everything anyways, so I fit right in! :) Its so incredibly chill here. In the camp there were drunk people walking around at 9 AM on a Sunday morning. After the crew was ready we made our way to the kumbi station. When we arrived and were headed our to the bottom, men were literally screaming at us in Siswati and trying to lure us towards them. I tried to avoid as much eye contact as possible. They were trying to marry one of us. All this time Ayanda was holding my hand and I asked her, "Do they normally act like this?" And she just said, "not really, they just go crazy over you white girls." haha! She was finding all of this to be quite amusing. Honestly I felt disgusted and really degraded. The men were only viewing us as mere objects. I truly got a taste of what its like for the young Swaziland women who endure this every day to earn money :(
Monday July 9th
At assembly at Enjawbeni School~ I absolutely adore hearing their african songs and voices. They seriously blow America out of the water when it comes to singing and dancing. These girls came out dressed in some cultural garb and started doing this awesome African tribal dance. The kids were hotting and hollerin and cheering the ladies on, and some occasionally jumped in themselves. aTTHen some guy s stole the show and did the same dance. After assembly, Kirsten and I went to the 1st grade class (where I knew Nokwanda would be). Today I actually discovered Ningwani's name is actually Nokwanda! Ive been pronouncing and writing her name wrong all this time. But she responds to both pronunciations, so it must just sound the same to her. They were learning about what jobs exist and sentence structure in English. WE left a little earlier because we were starting to get a little tired sitting and lisening to such basic eduation. SHortly it was break and Nokwanda and her friends came and cuddled and hungout with Kirsten and I. They are SO sweet. Tehy started calling Kirsten and I magy which means mother in English... One of the girls that was with us named Seke told us that her mom ran away to South Africa and her dad is dead :( She currently lives with her grandmother. Later we saw her running around town with no shoes :( Breaks my heart. It also turns out tht Nokwanda's mom stays in the Squadder camp in Mangonani every day and her dad does "things"....The girls seemed really hesitant to explain to me his exact occupation. This really concerns me. I seriously want to take thiese kids ho me with me. THey live in poverty, and call me mother. How can I not fall in love?! After break we went to the preschool and played 2 circle games with the kids. Shortly they were all sitting down and the CUTEST little girl in the universe started waving me over so I sat by her feet :) She kept touching my hair and back really gently. ITs amazing how hungry for love these kids are. I mean they were just quickly touching me just to touch me. And during the games they were getting in arguments over who got to hold my hand...
Later in this day we FINALLY got to see Hosea's Heart house :) Soon this house will hopefully be FILLED with girls who are at risk or have been abused through prostitution, slavery, etc. The house needs ALOT of work. The ceiling is caved in in certain places, walls are cracking, and its just got a lot of work left. Funds are needed SO badly in order to get this process moving. The house is a wonderful size though, and it is so EXCITING to see the beautiful potential this house has :) Thrilled to come back in 2 or 3 years to witness the dramatic alterations and to hopefully see it filled with girls! Right now we are trying to finalize a contracter from South Africa. But with African time, things take awhile. Prayers are NEEDED. Fortunately Tenele officially said she wants to move out from Sedrick and get away. PRAISE GOD! Mary Kate (our leader) met Tenele when she was 12 as a prostitute. Her step mom was selling her off to men. So she decided to run away and make her own profit instead of her mother getting all the money. Eventually she got pregnant and not has a BEAUTIFUL baby girl whom she named after Mary Kate. She now goes to church and still currently living with the baby daddy Sedrick. Sedrick actually was one of the men her step mother sold her off to. Tenele is ready to move out and completely cut ties. PRAYERS ARE NEEDED! We may be able to buy a temporary home for Tenele and Christina (the social worker on our team) to stay in and that way more girls we come in contact with can stay in that home until Hosea's Hearts official home is completed :) This is honestly amazing progresss.
I wrote this while completely overwhemed earlier this week....
"I feel so filled with the Spirit of God, and incredibly convicted. Am I not doing enough? I know that I am currently in Africa. But being here was really made me realize how much I hold onto. Luke 14:33- "So you cannot become a disciple without giving up everything you own." Wow. That is SO much to take in at once. How do I live in the States and not rely on things of this world? What is ok and whats not? Where do we as Christians draw the line? God, please break my heart for what breaks yours. Flee demons away in Jesus name. I pray you reveal my calling throughout this trip. I feel a call to adopt one day, and to love on the broken. Give me guidance. I honestly feel like not washing my hair, wearing no makeup, and going barefoot for the rest of this trip just to become more on their level and to experience their daily way of life. They live so simply here, with such simple intentions that are slowly branding my heart. Melt and mold me into a beautiful image of you. I am here. I want to answer your call, I am listening. Passion laughs at the hold of hell. "
Immediately after writing this, I flipped through my bible and prayed, "God, please just show me what I need to read." And I came across this... Colossians 1:18~ "So he is first in everything."
Tuesday July 10
Went to the Hope House again on this day :) Its so nice praying and singing for the patients. One of the grandpas wanted one of us to stay with him and be his wife. Thank God for my purity ring because everyone mistakes it for a wedding ring! :) They are all excited to see us come back next week, and it was awesome to see that they reemberd us, and seemed genuinely delighted to see us. Its inspiring to see their positive attitudes about being healed in Jesus name.
Went to care point again--LOVE IT THERE. Seriously could live there. I wish I could bathe them, continue to shower them with love, and bring them home :) Mom, you would easily fall in love quickly ;p
Later we had dinner at the volunteer house. Austrian style lasagna! At one dinner we were representing 4 countries! It was such a nice evening. Unfortunately from the meal Rachael, Mary Kate, and one of the Austrians got food poisoning :( Wednesday was pretty miserable for them all ;-/
Wednesday July 11
Went over to the school again today and we first went to the 6th grade thinking we would only be there briefly... Turns out that the teacher literally just left the class and told them he would be back tomorrow...?!?! This kind of thing happens often in Swaziland apparently! So Rachael, Kirsten, and I were the teachers until after lunch time. We had a blast, although the students treated us very poorly. We love them all, but they were extremely rowdy and basically super pumped to have a substitute teacher for a day to just let loose. The thing with Swazi culture is that teachers are allowed to use physical force. Sticks, books, hand, you name it. And we were not about to be using any of that style of discipline. Definitely a good experience!
Went to carepoint again. Lots I could say, but one story that I think youll find amusing...
So when we first walked up to the carepoint there was a little girl whom none of us have seem yet, so when we got closer she ended up screaming at the top of her lungs and began to sprint down into the Sqaudder camp! Apparently we are the first white people she has ever seen! Her face was so incredibly flooded with pure confusion and fear!!
Thursday July 12
In the evening we had a birthday party for Ayanda! This is the second party she has EVER had in her life. Although her and her crew were literally 2 and a half hours late for her own party, she ended up having a blast :) We had chocolate cake for her! She lives in the Squadder camp, and has SO much character and SUCH a personality. When she opened our gifts, she immediately started giving AWAY some of the american candy to her friends...talk about selfless. She is so sweet. She also got my Nike tennis shoes, and she was wearing them Thursday and they fit PERFECT! ahhh it made me so happy. She is SO deserving and a perfect example of how we should all be striving to live. Very mature for only being 16!!
Friday July 13
Today I received the most precious note from a student :) Absolutely framing it when I get home. I named her Nicole because her Swazi name is too hard to write/pronounce! I love that we are here for a month, because we are finally able to get deeper with the Swazi people, and at a better place to learn more about their lives and what we can do to help them. Turns out that there is a large number of sexually abused girls that go to the school we volunteer at... PERFECT!!! Prayers we may continue to dig deeper into their lives and hopefully offer up the home to a few girls who need immediate help!
This week over all has been truly amazing. It went by SO fast, but in one week I feel as if God has accomplished so much with the girls home, in my own life, and with the Swazi people in general. Funds are still needed for the girls home for the construction!!!
Thank you for all the support, with out you, this wouldnt be possible!
With an abundance of love,
Lindsay :)
Saturday, July 7, 2012
TIA...This. Is. Africa.
The above title has been our teams motto this past week...see anything unusual...the response just simply is... "This is Africa."
So Ive been here in Africa for a little over a week now, and so much has happened. I have no idea where on earth I can start, so I have decided that I will just be rewriting all my journal entrys from each day. This way you can get a first on few view on all that has happened and all of my emotions and such. Disclaimer--many sentence fragments and bad grammar ahead!!
July 1st.
Wow each day is such an amazing growing experience. This morning we went to church and it was SO COOL! We met at the care point near the squadder camp to meet Tenele and a few other kids including Fana and a bus/van came by and picked us up and it was packerd like Rachael was sitting on my lap! But the van was headed to the church. THis church had cement floor and it was in a white tent liike you would see at a grad party. INside there was white lawn chairs and card board for the little kids to sit on. It had a stage (really little) and a BIG speaker system. They were so incredibly loving and so grateful for our presence. We got FOUR shoutouts throughout the service. To start off, the people were walking back and forth in lines praying out loud in the Siswati language, as time went on the praying intensified and grew even louder. CHills were coverigng my entire body. THe service was seriously awesome. When people worshipped in song it wasnt like the typical singing, it was like they were little crying out to the Lord just as if it was their life anthem. Then they started DANCING! It was not like a performance by any means, but it was genuine in the sense that they were truly dancing for the Lord. Soon enough even us white girls were getting our groove on ;p THe sermon was about knowing the types of love. INstead of giing food to the needy, first cry for the ones in need. Not just loving to love, but to truly love someone is by feeling what they feel. He also spoke about how Satan trys his hardest and the world will truly start to persecute you when you become an intentional Christian and follower of Christ. This service lasted FOUR hours. The amazing part of it all is that it didnt seem any where near that long. The whole body of the church was up and moving and worshipping God with all they have without worrying about humiliating themselves. It was very loud, filled with laughter, and consumed with passionate praise to the Lord. Afterwards they all greeted us and told us again how happy they were to see us. One lady gave us this DELICIOUS roll thing. ANother man told us that we are welcomed to Swazi any time, and we are their people and that if anyone try to give us crap for being there to come talk to him ;p haha! Also Johannes gave me a Swaziland name which is Lindiwe, which means, precious girl. All the Swazis call me that now because apparently Lindsay is too difficult to pronounce! After church we all prayed for Tenele and she began to cry :( But her tears were a huge step in her life. Tenele has been Mary Kate's inspiration for starting Hosea's Heart. She started off a prostitute at the age of twelve when they first met, now she has a baby (named Mary Kate) and is out of prostitution and beginning to go to church :) Out God is so powerful.
I just realized that doing each day like this will take FOREVER! So I am just going to skim through the big things and write about those!
July 2nd
Today we headed over to the school right next door and played with the preschoolers and also met some teenage girls that were so incredibly sweet. They told us that the King has 12 wives, and all of them have 2 moms. Apparently its "not good" for the man to only have on wife. They shared with us alot of info on Swazi culture. I had to explain to them what a cookie is!! After the school, lunch, and a 5 minute power nap, we went over to the care point again :) My got "beautified." Its amazing how fascinated they are with white people hair. My highlight was when Ningwani randomly entered the care point and gave me a big hug :) I dont know what it is about her but my heart just melts for her. I want to take her home SO BADLY! A girl had charcoal in her mouth when we were leaving and she told us that thats how she cleans her teeth! Pretty interesting right? But if it works then thats great!!
July 3rd
If I was at home I wuold be looking forward to the Dubuque Mississippi river fireworks :( This is my favorite holiday and Im kind of bummed I am missing it. Yes, its sad but I know God has me here for a reason :)
Today we headed over to the MYC (Manzini Youth Care) office and met some workers. We then got to have a tour of the facility training centers they have there. Got to witness people making honey, and making jelwery out of mud which turns out to be so beautiful! Then we went to the Hope House. First we went into a nun's office and she asked us some questions and told us the whole low down of the organization. Basically its for people who are about to die. The first little home we went into, we prayed for this man, his wife, and their son. The second I layed hands on this man, I was completely overwhelmed and the Holy Spirit just took over my heart. I began to tear up and my knees began to feel weak. I held back my tears because I didnt want to discourage this man and his infectious joy. I think I began to cry because I was so shocked and humbled by his joy. Even though this man is literally on his death bed, his wife and little boy were still there with hopes of a healthy future. We went to many more houses and prayed and sang for all the patients. Many of them were unable to speak English but we were still able to communicate through Christ and his power. We knew just enough Siswati to get by, and God took over the rest. Its amazing to see and witness how grateful the patients were just to have visitors.j Some of them were SO HAPPY. It really puts things into perspective. To think I have EVER complained about anything in my life is truly a shame. Swazi's, dont have as long as a lifespan as Americans. Nor do they have the appropriate medicines or vaccines to be treated. I felt really called to house E. Turns out then when we arrived, the elderly woman was crawling on her hands and knees on the cement ground and brushing her hands on the grass saying "I am going home." wow. Her nurse told us that she has brain damage. It was clear that she didnt want to adjust to this new location to die. We said "Tandaza" which means "pray" and she got calm. We started praying for her, and immediately she was a new person. Afterwards we headed home and I sat outside for a while by myself just soaking in all the different sounds of Swaziland. The dogs here are literally like nocternal. They bark and howl non-stop here at night.
July 4th
Just had a wonderful American dinner made by MK and Rachael! We had hamburgers, fried potatoes, and some chips! We also went to the store and tried to find as much American food as we could! To say the least, I went to bed super full. This morning was amazingly random. WE got up at about 7 to head over to the school and hear the morning assembly. After the assembly we decided to break up in groups and go to different class rooms. Kirsten and I teamed up and went into the 6th grade classroom expecting just to sit in..but no. The teacher literally said, "Teach a little something, yeah?" So he gave us a little lesson book and that it! Within seconds Kirsten and I who are both 18 soon to be 19, are now in charge of teaching 6th grade for the entire morning. It was AMAZING! Seriously SO entertaining. We taught synonyms and antonyms, and a math unit word problems (which I have ALWAYS had troubles with). We also got to tell them a little bit about America. Kirsten and I were just feeding off of eachother and pulling information and a form of organization out of our butts. It was so cool! Afterwards all the students had to work on their workbooks for math and they were all asking a million questions! I kept hearing, "Teacha, teacha!" It was really interesting to be in the opposite position than what I am used to. I was no longer the clueless kid during the math unit with my hand up constantly in the desk, but I was in the teachers position running around trying to answer all the questions. After teaching I watched some African dancing because Don Bosco a dead saint was in town. Man can the men here shake their hips! TIA... haha...the men were literally wearing short cultural skirts! After that we went to the grocery store and I got to bond with one of MKs old students, her name is Nobele (with a click on the N) and she is SO SO SO sweet. After lunch and the grocery store we went to Manonani (the care point) again. It was amazing as always. They were teaching me some Swazi style jump roping. While jump roping we kept getting closer and closer to the mud. Eventually it ended up splashing up on me, and I just ignored it because I can wipe it off later, it was no big deal. And the Swazi girls who are filthy themselves, literally dropped what they were doing, ran over to me, and started whiping off all the mud as soon as they could. wow. This is incredible. They are SO compassionate, helpful, and willing to always help someone out. My heart is just burning writing about this. I LOVE the carepoint. I strive to be more and more like the Swazi people. Dirty, but yet SO beautiful. I see Christ within their captivating brown eyes. Johannes and Ayonda walked us home and they are so wonderful. Hilarious, helpful, and very interesting people to be around. As we were walking home some men were yelling at us who were building a fence and they were literally yelling at the top of their lungs, "One of you, PLEASE COME MARRY US!" Johannes (who is a great protector) yelled something back at them in Siswati and we moved on. Johannes hadnt eaten for days because his aunt is treating him badly, and yet when we offered him food, he was still said to Ayonda, "Ladies first." An allowed her to eat first and was still hesitant to accept food from us. This fourth of July has been one of my best, even without of the fireworks, mountain dew, and my family and friends. It was filled with God revealing himself everywhere we went.
I am running out of time to write about the 5th and yesterday!!!! ;-/ But Ill tell you breifly about yesterday because we went to the waterfall and it was BEAUTIFUL. Saw monkies, climbed through the rocks, and even jumped into the freezing cold water! It was literally so cold it made my bones ache. But what a WONDERFUL experience and sight I will never forget.
Today we are going to an orphanage and I am so incredibly excited. Lately God has been showing me my new found incredible love for young children. Orphans have been on my heart like a dead bug is on a windsheild--stuck.
Love you all!!!
Family. I miss you all so much. Hope all is well. Think about you every day!!! Also sorry for not calling yesterday, I forgot I can only communicate on Saturdays. Love you! HAve a fantastic day!
Prayers still needed for the girls home and everyone we meet here!! and endurance for the team!
God bless you,
Lindsay
So Ive been here in Africa for a little over a week now, and so much has happened. I have no idea where on earth I can start, so I have decided that I will just be rewriting all my journal entrys from each day. This way you can get a first on few view on all that has happened and all of my emotions and such. Disclaimer--many sentence fragments and bad grammar ahead!!
July 1st.
Wow each day is such an amazing growing experience. This morning we went to church and it was SO COOL! We met at the care point near the squadder camp to meet Tenele and a few other kids including Fana and a bus/van came by and picked us up and it was packerd like Rachael was sitting on my lap! But the van was headed to the church. THis church had cement floor and it was in a white tent liike you would see at a grad party. INside there was white lawn chairs and card board for the little kids to sit on. It had a stage (really little) and a BIG speaker system. They were so incredibly loving and so grateful for our presence. We got FOUR shoutouts throughout the service. To start off, the people were walking back and forth in lines praying out loud in the Siswati language, as time went on the praying intensified and grew even louder. CHills were coverigng my entire body. THe service was seriously awesome. When people worshipped in song it wasnt like the typical singing, it was like they were little crying out to the Lord just as if it was their life anthem. Then they started DANCING! It was not like a performance by any means, but it was genuine in the sense that they were truly dancing for the Lord. Soon enough even us white girls were getting our groove on ;p THe sermon was about knowing the types of love. INstead of giing food to the needy, first cry for the ones in need. Not just loving to love, but to truly love someone is by feeling what they feel. He also spoke about how Satan trys his hardest and the world will truly start to persecute you when you become an intentional Christian and follower of Christ. This service lasted FOUR hours. The amazing part of it all is that it didnt seem any where near that long. The whole body of the church was up and moving and worshipping God with all they have without worrying about humiliating themselves. It was very loud, filled with laughter, and consumed with passionate praise to the Lord. Afterwards they all greeted us and told us again how happy they were to see us. One lady gave us this DELICIOUS roll thing. ANother man told us that we are welcomed to Swazi any time, and we are their people and that if anyone try to give us crap for being there to come talk to him ;p haha! Also Johannes gave me a Swaziland name which is Lindiwe, which means, precious girl. All the Swazis call me that now because apparently Lindsay is too difficult to pronounce! After church we all prayed for Tenele and she began to cry :( But her tears were a huge step in her life. Tenele has been Mary Kate's inspiration for starting Hosea's Heart. She started off a prostitute at the age of twelve when they first met, now she has a baby (named Mary Kate) and is out of prostitution and beginning to go to church :) Out God is so powerful.
I just realized that doing each day like this will take FOREVER! So I am just going to skim through the big things and write about those!
July 2nd
Today we headed over to the school right next door and played with the preschoolers and also met some teenage girls that were so incredibly sweet. They told us that the King has 12 wives, and all of them have 2 moms. Apparently its "not good" for the man to only have on wife. They shared with us alot of info on Swazi culture. I had to explain to them what a cookie is!! After the school, lunch, and a 5 minute power nap, we went over to the care point again :) My got "beautified." Its amazing how fascinated they are with white people hair. My highlight was when Ningwani randomly entered the care point and gave me a big hug :) I dont know what it is about her but my heart just melts for her. I want to take her home SO BADLY! A girl had charcoal in her mouth when we were leaving and she told us that thats how she cleans her teeth! Pretty interesting right? But if it works then thats great!!
July 3rd
If I was at home I wuold be looking forward to the Dubuque Mississippi river fireworks :( This is my favorite holiday and Im kind of bummed I am missing it. Yes, its sad but I know God has me here for a reason :)
Today we headed over to the MYC (Manzini Youth Care) office and met some workers. We then got to have a tour of the facility training centers they have there. Got to witness people making honey, and making jelwery out of mud which turns out to be so beautiful! Then we went to the Hope House. First we went into a nun's office and she asked us some questions and told us the whole low down of the organization. Basically its for people who are about to die. The first little home we went into, we prayed for this man, his wife, and their son. The second I layed hands on this man, I was completely overwhelmed and the Holy Spirit just took over my heart. I began to tear up and my knees began to feel weak. I held back my tears because I didnt want to discourage this man and his infectious joy. I think I began to cry because I was so shocked and humbled by his joy. Even though this man is literally on his death bed, his wife and little boy were still there with hopes of a healthy future. We went to many more houses and prayed and sang for all the patients. Many of them were unable to speak English but we were still able to communicate through Christ and his power. We knew just enough Siswati to get by, and God took over the rest. Its amazing to see and witness how grateful the patients were just to have visitors.j Some of them were SO HAPPY. It really puts things into perspective. To think I have EVER complained about anything in my life is truly a shame. Swazi's, dont have as long as a lifespan as Americans. Nor do they have the appropriate medicines or vaccines to be treated. I felt really called to house E. Turns out then when we arrived, the elderly woman was crawling on her hands and knees on the cement ground and brushing her hands on the grass saying "I am going home." wow. Her nurse told us that she has brain damage. It was clear that she didnt want to adjust to this new location to die. We said "Tandaza" which means "pray" and she got calm. We started praying for her, and immediately she was a new person. Afterwards we headed home and I sat outside for a while by myself just soaking in all the different sounds of Swaziland. The dogs here are literally like nocternal. They bark and howl non-stop here at night.
July 4th
Just had a wonderful American dinner made by MK and Rachael! We had hamburgers, fried potatoes, and some chips! We also went to the store and tried to find as much American food as we could! To say the least, I went to bed super full. This morning was amazingly random. WE got up at about 7 to head over to the school and hear the morning assembly. After the assembly we decided to break up in groups and go to different class rooms. Kirsten and I teamed up and went into the 6th grade classroom expecting just to sit in..but no. The teacher literally said, "Teach a little something, yeah?" So he gave us a little lesson book and that it! Within seconds Kirsten and I who are both 18 soon to be 19, are now in charge of teaching 6th grade for the entire morning. It was AMAZING! Seriously SO entertaining. We taught synonyms and antonyms, and a math unit word problems (which I have ALWAYS had troubles with). We also got to tell them a little bit about America. Kirsten and I were just feeding off of eachother and pulling information and a form of organization out of our butts. It was so cool! Afterwards all the students had to work on their workbooks for math and they were all asking a million questions! I kept hearing, "Teacha, teacha!" It was really interesting to be in the opposite position than what I am used to. I was no longer the clueless kid during the math unit with my hand up constantly in the desk, but I was in the teachers position running around trying to answer all the questions. After teaching I watched some African dancing because Don Bosco a dead saint was in town. Man can the men here shake their hips! TIA... haha...the men were literally wearing short cultural skirts! After that we went to the grocery store and I got to bond with one of MKs old students, her name is Nobele (with a click on the N) and she is SO SO SO sweet. After lunch and the grocery store we went to Manonani (the care point) again. It was amazing as always. They were teaching me some Swazi style jump roping. While jump roping we kept getting closer and closer to the mud. Eventually it ended up splashing up on me, and I just ignored it because I can wipe it off later, it was no big deal. And the Swazi girls who are filthy themselves, literally dropped what they were doing, ran over to me, and started whiping off all the mud as soon as they could. wow. This is incredible. They are SO compassionate, helpful, and willing to always help someone out. My heart is just burning writing about this. I LOVE the carepoint. I strive to be more and more like the Swazi people. Dirty, but yet SO beautiful. I see Christ within their captivating brown eyes. Johannes and Ayonda walked us home and they are so wonderful. Hilarious, helpful, and very interesting people to be around. As we were walking home some men were yelling at us who were building a fence and they were literally yelling at the top of their lungs, "One of you, PLEASE COME MARRY US!" Johannes (who is a great protector) yelled something back at them in Siswati and we moved on. Johannes hadnt eaten for days because his aunt is treating him badly, and yet when we offered him food, he was still said to Ayonda, "Ladies first." An allowed her to eat first and was still hesitant to accept food from us. This fourth of July has been one of my best, even without of the fireworks, mountain dew, and my family and friends. It was filled with God revealing himself everywhere we went.
I am running out of time to write about the 5th and yesterday!!!! ;-/ But Ill tell you breifly about yesterday because we went to the waterfall and it was BEAUTIFUL. Saw monkies, climbed through the rocks, and even jumped into the freezing cold water! It was literally so cold it made my bones ache. But what a WONDERFUL experience and sight I will never forget.
Today we are going to an orphanage and I am so incredibly excited. Lately God has been showing me my new found incredible love for young children. Orphans have been on my heart like a dead bug is on a windsheild--stuck.
Love you all!!!
Family. I miss you all so much. Hope all is well. Think about you every day!!! Also sorry for not calling yesterday, I forgot I can only communicate on Saturdays. Love you! HAve a fantastic day!
Prayers still needed for the girls home and everyone we meet here!! and endurance for the team!
God bless you,
Lindsay
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Swaziland :)
Oh where on earth do I begin...
I am here safe and sound! Currently at the Manzini internet store, where you buy a certain amount of hours. It's so good to finally have contact with the rest of the world and to finally notify my parents that yes... I am ALIVE! :) When we arrived in London we went to some tourist sites. We saw the changing of the gaurds at Buckingham Palace where the royal family lives, and saw some other pretty old monuments. Sadly I was out of it most of the time. I discovered that I get extremely motion sickness...so from the flight I ended up puking my guts out in London Central Park. Yes it was AWFUL at the time...but how many people can say they have puked in London Central Park right next to where the queen lives?! I hate to admit this, but it was really hard to not just call my parents and be like... Hey im sick, can you pick me up? But no, I ended up just hopping on another plane! But it turned out be so worth it. I just had to continue thinking about the destination! The plane from London took us to Johannesburg, South Africa. And from there a large van picked us up and drove us to Manzini, Swaziland. Everyone in the van was totally passed out because none of us recieved very much sleep. But I was absolutely FASCINATED by the terrain, the people, and all the sites that there was NO way I could have brought myself to fall asleep. First of all, They drive on the opposite side of the road, and the wheel is on the opposite side as well. I saw slums, mud houses, cows walking around in the middle of the road, women balancing giant boxes of various things on their heads... incredible. So when we finally arrived at our home it wasnt until later at night, but our house is very quaint :) It definitely passes as a very very low class American home, but it suits us just fine. We all share beds, and I share a bed with the wonderful Mary Kate. I absolutely LOVE my team. The next day we went to a Care Point called "Mangonani." This is when all the pictures, and statistics became a disgusting reality for me... We started walking toward the Care Point and kids from all around just started flocking towards us and grabbing our hands. Just because we were white they were totally trusting us to take them somewhere safe. When we finally arrived at the care point kids just started literally... and when I say literally...I REALLY mean literally, started running straight at us in such joy. We all had kids hanging on our hips, backs, and some were getting in arguments on who could hold my hand the longest. This is all in seconds of when we met these children. Behind the fence of the care point is just...poverty. Kids that looked around the age of 3 or 4 had scarves tied around their bodies to hold a baby on their back. Its amazing how such a little toddler has the instinct to help the other children out. At this time they were all getting ready for lunch. Getting ready for lunch starts off with a big bucket of water. The water was brown, but its their only way to "clean" the dishes. As soon as they would wash up their bowls they would race into line crammed together as if the closer they stood to one another the faster they would receive their rice. Each one of the kids has clothes with holes in them, and they were filthy from head to toe. But STILL past all the outward uncleanliness...they were absolutely beautiful. To embrace one of these children and to witness their beautiful joy...is so stunning. Its amazing how we can all complain about various things...when we have a car in the garage, clean water, and plenty of food in the cupboards. These kids have nothing but their faith to get them by, and they are solely living on simplicity, and their joy for life was STILL so evident. There were children so young I was just appauled by the fact they could even walk yet. Some even had bloated stomachs :( One of the girls i grew closer with later asked me, "When you be back next week, will you bring me something nice?" My response, "No, but I would be glad to give the greatest gift of all, which is my love." She just looked at me and began to hug me tighter. Then she asked, "Do you love God?" Wow. My response was, "Oh absolutely. I love God very very much." Again she just smiled and said, "Oh yes I love God very much too." ahhhhh. even rewriting this conversation just fills my heart with joy. Again, these children have NOTHING, and she still has faith in God! Another girl named Ningwani that I was with hanging by my side most of the time, was so so so so sweet. We could barely understand eachother, but she still remained content with just my company. She took off my sunglasses and was wearing them around everywhere, when the other kids saw them, they became a wonderful new toy and the next thing I knew, they were covered with rice saliva. Yum! haha, which reminds me I still need to wash them off! When it was time I had to depart from Ningwani she gave me one of the warmest hugs I have ever received in my life.. Even though we met only hours early, (by the way she was the one that found me on the street walking to the care point that just came up and grabbed my hand) her embrace was filled with so much love. I am SO excited to go back next week and see them all again! So far, God has been absolutely BLOWING me away on this trip, and I havent been here long. Its amazing to see that God's love is working all over the world. I am so blessed incredibly blessed. It gets dark at around 5:30 and its 2 in the afternoon right now, so its been so cool to have the opportunity to hang out with the team and share testamonies, and build each other up through Christ. OH! I almost forgot. Last night we went to the Rec because MK has alot of connections with the people here and they begged her to play basketball with her on Friday night. So we show up and they end of playing the womens team of Zimbabwe! So insane. Zimbabwe has some hardcore skills. They dominated Team Swazi by 40 points... hahaha... crazy! Anyways, my time her has been amazing. And its been SO humbling. Wearing no makeup, having 2 minute cold showers, and eating simple food only at meals has been GREAT and such an awesome growing experience for me.
Family~ I MISS YOU GUYS! and I love you very much :)
I hope everyone is having a wonderful summer!!! Prayers are still needed for the country of Swaziland!!! God has already been doing some amazing things.
In Christ,
Lindsay :)
I am here safe and sound! Currently at the Manzini internet store, where you buy a certain amount of hours. It's so good to finally have contact with the rest of the world and to finally notify my parents that yes... I am ALIVE! :) When we arrived in London we went to some tourist sites. We saw the changing of the gaurds at Buckingham Palace where the royal family lives, and saw some other pretty old monuments. Sadly I was out of it most of the time. I discovered that I get extremely motion sickness...so from the flight I ended up puking my guts out in London Central Park. Yes it was AWFUL at the time...but how many people can say they have puked in London Central Park right next to where the queen lives?! I hate to admit this, but it was really hard to not just call my parents and be like... Hey im sick, can you pick me up? But no, I ended up just hopping on another plane! But it turned out be so worth it. I just had to continue thinking about the destination! The plane from London took us to Johannesburg, South Africa. And from there a large van picked us up and drove us to Manzini, Swaziland. Everyone in the van was totally passed out because none of us recieved very much sleep. But I was absolutely FASCINATED by the terrain, the people, and all the sites that there was NO way I could have brought myself to fall asleep. First of all, They drive on the opposite side of the road, and the wheel is on the opposite side as well. I saw slums, mud houses, cows walking around in the middle of the road, women balancing giant boxes of various things on their heads... incredible. So when we finally arrived at our home it wasnt until later at night, but our house is very quaint :) It definitely passes as a very very low class American home, but it suits us just fine. We all share beds, and I share a bed with the wonderful Mary Kate. I absolutely LOVE my team. The next day we went to a Care Point called "Mangonani." This is when all the pictures, and statistics became a disgusting reality for me... We started walking toward the Care Point and kids from all around just started flocking towards us and grabbing our hands. Just because we were white they were totally trusting us to take them somewhere safe. When we finally arrived at the care point kids just started literally... and when I say literally...I REALLY mean literally, started running straight at us in such joy. We all had kids hanging on our hips, backs, and some were getting in arguments on who could hold my hand the longest. This is all in seconds of when we met these children. Behind the fence of the care point is just...poverty. Kids that looked around the age of 3 or 4 had scarves tied around their bodies to hold a baby on their back. Its amazing how such a little toddler has the instinct to help the other children out. At this time they were all getting ready for lunch. Getting ready for lunch starts off with a big bucket of water. The water was brown, but its their only way to "clean" the dishes. As soon as they would wash up their bowls they would race into line crammed together as if the closer they stood to one another the faster they would receive their rice. Each one of the kids has clothes with holes in them, and they were filthy from head to toe. But STILL past all the outward uncleanliness...they were absolutely beautiful. To embrace one of these children and to witness their beautiful joy...is so stunning. Its amazing how we can all complain about various things...when we have a car in the garage, clean water, and plenty of food in the cupboards. These kids have nothing but their faith to get them by, and they are solely living on simplicity, and their joy for life was STILL so evident. There were children so young I was just appauled by the fact they could even walk yet. Some even had bloated stomachs :( One of the girls i grew closer with later asked me, "When you be back next week, will you bring me something nice?" My response, "No, but I would be glad to give the greatest gift of all, which is my love." She just looked at me and began to hug me tighter. Then she asked, "Do you love God?" Wow. My response was, "Oh absolutely. I love God very very much." Again she just smiled and said, "Oh yes I love God very much too." ahhhhh. even rewriting this conversation just fills my heart with joy. Again, these children have NOTHING, and she still has faith in God! Another girl named Ningwani that I was with hanging by my side most of the time, was so so so so sweet. We could barely understand eachother, but she still remained content with just my company. She took off my sunglasses and was wearing them around everywhere, when the other kids saw them, they became a wonderful new toy and the next thing I knew, they were covered with rice saliva. Yum! haha, which reminds me I still need to wash them off! When it was time I had to depart from Ningwani she gave me one of the warmest hugs I have ever received in my life.. Even though we met only hours early, (by the way she was the one that found me on the street walking to the care point that just came up and grabbed my hand) her embrace was filled with so much love. I am SO excited to go back next week and see them all again! So far, God has been absolutely BLOWING me away on this trip, and I havent been here long. Its amazing to see that God's love is working all over the world. I am so blessed incredibly blessed. It gets dark at around 5:30 and its 2 in the afternoon right now, so its been so cool to have the opportunity to hang out with the team and share testamonies, and build each other up through Christ. OH! I almost forgot. Last night we went to the Rec because MK has alot of connections with the people here and they begged her to play basketball with her on Friday night. So we show up and they end of playing the womens team of Zimbabwe! So insane. Zimbabwe has some hardcore skills. They dominated Team Swazi by 40 points... hahaha... crazy! Anyways, my time her has been amazing. And its been SO humbling. Wearing no makeup, having 2 minute cold showers, and eating simple food only at meals has been GREAT and such an awesome growing experience for me.
Family~ I MISS YOU GUYS! and I love you very much :)
I hope everyone is having a wonderful summer!!! Prayers are still needed for the country of Swaziland!!! God has already been doing some amazing things.
In Christ,
Lindsay :)
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Chicago time
So last night the team, including some of our family members, met up in Marshall, WI where Mary Kate our team leader lives. We had a fantastic dinner, and MK gave the parents more information regarding the trip and all that it entails. Early in the morning we packed the car and headed for Milwaukee where we boarded our first flight to Chicago. Here in Chicago we have a 9 hour lay over until we board our flight to London. I know a 9 hour lay over in Chicago seems like A LOT, but it has been so fantastic :) We've had magnificent bonding time, and I have really gotten to know my fellow team members. All the women are SO amazing, AND passionate. I am completely overwhelmed by the fact that God, for some reason, placed us all together as a unified team, to accomplish a specific goal through Christ. I feel so undeserving. I feel so blessed to have been chosen by God to be apart of this team, and I am astronomically PUMPED to discover what on earth lies ahead of us in this next month. I am really excited to have the opportunity to embrace the Swazi people, as well as their culture. I'm looking forward to pouring the love of Jesus, and the good news into hearts from literally across the world. Prayers for our team are VITAL! We need YOUR help to make this mission possible. Please pray for our endurance, and our obedience to intently follow the Holy Spirit and all that He has instore!
God bless you :)
ALSO!!!! I wrote out a thank you letter to all the people who gave me donations to even go on this trip... and silly me...I never got around to actually sending them out! From the bottom of my heart, I truly extend the DEEPEST amount of appreciation and love for you! I assure you that when I return home you will get some type of letter! I promise that your donations werent insignificant to me, IT MEANS THE WORLD! Thank you very very very very much.
God bless you :)
ALSO!!!! I wrote out a thank you letter to all the people who gave me donations to even go on this trip... and silly me...I never got around to actually sending them out! From the bottom of my heart, I truly extend the DEEPEST amount of appreciation and love for you! I assure you that when I return home you will get some type of letter! I promise that your donations werent insignificant to me, IT MEANS THE WORLD! Thank you very very very very much.
Friday, June 22, 2012
Doubts transformed to Revelations.
Romans 1:17~ "This Good News tells us God makes us right in his sight."
Romans 2:1~ "You may think you can condemn such people, but you are just as bad, and you have no excuse! When you say they are wicked and should be punished, you are condemning yourrself, for you who judge others do these very same things."
Romans 2:11~ "God does not show favoritism."
This past week I have been taking a closer look into the book of Romans... and ever since, I've had the same thought stuck in my head all week. "How in the world do we become holy enough in the eyes of God? What makes us officially good enough to be assigned to Heaven's destination?" So, what I got out of Romans 2:1 is if I condemn others who sin, Im just as bad. But what if I say something as simple as "That girl needs Jesus." Is that considered a judgemental comment, or a flat out statement to reasoning of her wicked ways? I guess I've just been struggling with, how is it humanly possibly NOT to sin? I mean just a comment like... "Shes awful." Or, "He/She needs Jesus." Or, if I have friends who partake in sexual relationships, and I occasionally find myself quick to anger or cursing... isn't that the same level of sinning? After thinking about all of this...I dont think God has different "levels" of sin. I think a sin IS a sin. Black and white. There is no line. Well, if the "smallest" sin is equal to that "big" sin, how do we completely wash clean ALL of our sins? I think the answer lies with... Once you are saved, you're saved. My aunt Janelle randomly texted me this morning and it read, "Had these words come to me last night like a flood: saved is saved. Period. The blood of the lamb looks the same on everyone who wears it. There is no such thing as MORE saved, or BETTER saved, or MORE DESERVING of being saved. There are no BETTER Christians. If you are saved you are saved." Wow. Its OUTSTANDING how God can interpret ones doubts into another individuals revelation. It think without a doubt God spoke through Janelle, to speak to me. Basically, by God's GRACE we are saved. We are ALL human, so therefore we WILL sin and sometimes without even acknowleding our actions as a sin. This is why Jesus died for us. You are accepted into heaven once you accept Jesus into your heart. It's THAT easy. Some may take this sinning for granted, such as... "I am going to sleep with that man, and then afterwards ask God for forgiveness of my sin." No. Actions such as this are taking for granted God's mercy. God is just, which means he can see through ALL evil and good intentions. SO to sum everything up. Dont feel like you are walking on egg shells just because you are a Christian. God LOVES you, and he wants you to LOVE him unconditionally back. Once this relationship is formed, you are saved, and right in his sight.
5 DAYS UNTIL BEGINNING THE JOURNEY TO SWAZILAND!!!!! :)
I encourage you to go out of your way to bless someone today. BE blessed, BLESS others.
Romans 2:1~ "You may think you can condemn such people, but you are just as bad, and you have no excuse! When you say they are wicked and should be punished, you are condemning yourrself, for you who judge others do these very same things."
Romans 2:11~ "God does not show favoritism."
This past week I have been taking a closer look into the book of Romans... and ever since, I've had the same thought stuck in my head all week. "How in the world do we become holy enough in the eyes of God? What makes us officially good enough to be assigned to Heaven's destination?" So, what I got out of Romans 2:1 is if I condemn others who sin, Im just as bad. But what if I say something as simple as "That girl needs Jesus." Is that considered a judgemental comment, or a flat out statement to reasoning of her wicked ways? I guess I've just been struggling with, how is it humanly possibly NOT to sin? I mean just a comment like... "Shes awful." Or, "He/She needs Jesus." Or, if I have friends who partake in sexual relationships, and I occasionally find myself quick to anger or cursing... isn't that the same level of sinning? After thinking about all of this...I dont think God has different "levels" of sin. I think a sin IS a sin. Black and white. There is no line. Well, if the "smallest" sin is equal to that "big" sin, how do we completely wash clean ALL of our sins? I think the answer lies with... Once you are saved, you're saved. My aunt Janelle randomly texted me this morning and it read, "Had these words come to me last night like a flood: saved is saved. Period. The blood of the lamb looks the same on everyone who wears it. There is no such thing as MORE saved, or BETTER saved, or MORE DESERVING of being saved. There are no BETTER Christians. If you are saved you are saved." Wow. Its OUTSTANDING how God can interpret ones doubts into another individuals revelation. It think without a doubt God spoke through Janelle, to speak to me. Basically, by God's GRACE we are saved. We are ALL human, so therefore we WILL sin and sometimes without even acknowleding our actions as a sin. This is why Jesus died for us. You are accepted into heaven once you accept Jesus into your heart. It's THAT easy. Some may take this sinning for granted, such as... "I am going to sleep with that man, and then afterwards ask God for forgiveness of my sin." No. Actions such as this are taking for granted God's mercy. God is just, which means he can see through ALL evil and good intentions. SO to sum everything up. Dont feel like you are walking on egg shells just because you are a Christian. God LOVES you, and he wants you to LOVE him unconditionally back. Once this relationship is formed, you are saved, and right in his sight.
5 DAYS UNTIL BEGINNING THE JOURNEY TO SWAZILAND!!!!! :)
I encourage you to go out of your way to bless someone today. BE blessed, BLESS others.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Camp!
This past week I camp counseled at Camp Quaker Heights in Eldora, IA. It was SUCH a blessing!! The way the camp is set up is every camper is assigned to a counselor, and you are placed in the same cabin. As a kid I used to LOVE attending this camp. It's a week long full of no parental authority, and new friends :) The minute it ended I would already be prepared for the next summers' camp to begin. It's a time to completely seclude yourself from the rest of the world, to solely dedicate your time and energy into learning, and expanding your personal relationship and understanding of Christ. Coming in as a counselor was a bit unnerving, because I remember from when I went to camp that my counselors played an enormous factor into my overall camp experience. Fortunately I had an OUTSTANDING group of young gals to love on and pour into the entire week! They all got along so excellently. They even pushed all the bunks together in order to be closer to eachother while sleeping. By the end of the week they all had a precious encounter with the holy spirit :) It was amazing to see the transformation in their attitudes from the beginning of the week compared to the end. They weren't afraid to speak their minds, and ask me questions about my own testamony of becoming a Christian. It is so neat to be on the other end of the camp experience. God is SO incredibly good and it's truly a joy to see the love of Christ in preteens' lives. I ask that you pray for my cabin girls, and that they may continue their love for Christ and become hungry for the word of God!
SWAZILAND IS IN 9 DAYS! :) Time is FLYING! Prayers for the team!! God bless you!
SWAZILAND IS IN 9 DAYS! :) Time is FLYING! Prayers for the team!! God bless you!
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
I have failed to mention that on this trip to Swaziland, there are 5 other women going and we are working as a team. It also marks Hosea's Heart's official first annual mission trip! To read more about Hosea's Heart, to meet the team and to read the team's stories, check out www.hoseasheart.org. It explains the trip into further detail, and has some pictures of the home that will be renovated :) Lastly, in order for us to make any significant progress on the home this summer we need to raise $30,000. So if you are interested in donating to Hosea's Heart PLEASE don't hesitate to contact me or someone else on the team! We would love for you to be apart of the cause!
Today marks the beginning of the three week count down until take off :) Thankfully I had the opportunity to just relax, catch some sun, and visit with an old friend. While laying out on our back deck, I made sure to take extra time looking around and just soaking in the sights of all the trees, and birds. When you just take the time to step back and really examine God's beauty, it truly can take your breath away. I know this all sounds really cheesy. But I mean, seriously! I have a complete new outlook on how beautiful nature is! So many times we take our surroundings for granted, which is such a shame. I wish life wasn't so busy, because so much of God's peace lies directly in our back yards and we dont even recognize it. I think this whole nature "revelation" is just a taste of what God will reveal to me when I get back home. I haven't even left yet and I know the amount of waste in America will disgust me when I witness first hand actual poverty. I will finally have the ability to unfortunately place a face behind a statistic.
Today marks the beginning of the three week count down until take off :) Thankfully I had the opportunity to just relax, catch some sun, and visit with an old friend. While laying out on our back deck, I made sure to take extra time looking around and just soaking in the sights of all the trees, and birds. When you just take the time to step back and really examine God's beauty, it truly can take your breath away. I know this all sounds really cheesy. But I mean, seriously! I have a complete new outlook on how beautiful nature is! So many times we take our surroundings for granted, which is such a shame. I wish life wasn't so busy, because so much of God's peace lies directly in our back yards and we dont even recognize it. I think this whole nature "revelation" is just a taste of what God will reveal to me when I get back home. I haven't even left yet and I know the amount of waste in America will disgust me when I witness first hand actual poverty. I will finally have the ability to unfortunately place a face behind a statistic.
Monday, June 4, 2012
Lately, I've been asking God how in the world I am suppose to even BEGIN preparing myself for this upcoming trip. It is so difficult to even know where to start. This morning I chose to wear my World Food Prize polo, which I received in October at a conference that invited world known leaders to discuss the ongoing world hunger crisis, and crop sustainability. Wearing this polo got me thinking about how someday I can end up speaking at this conference 30 years from now discussing the hundreds of ways I have fought against world hunger. Due to the fact that as of now I don't plan on majoring in Agriculture, Math, OR Scientific research... I have not a clue how this could ever happen. Then I started to feel depressed and guilty due to my lack of potentially ever stopping world hunger or any other nationally horrific statistics. This is when God dropped a thought in my rapid and everchanging thought process... "Lindsay, you CAN'T save the world physically, but through CHRIST you can save them spiritually, which leads to eternal life, not just temporary life." Holy smokes. This thought has been on my mind ALL DAY LONG. Why do we all consume our futures with wildly complex majors and goals when REALLY all we need to do as Christians is extend a loving hand and heart? No I am definitely not saying that becoming a world leader, doctor, or a disease prevention expert is a bad idea. Its an AMAZING idea! If you can do that, DO IT! But, for people like me who most likely don't have any of those things in your deck of cards...please, just be content. Be perfectly content with your occupation, personality, and abilities... just LOVE all God's people and you can accomplish great things no matter where you may be. "Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think." Ephesians 3:20
Following You
Hello friends! My name is Lindsay Crouse, I am 18 years old,
and I live Iowa. In a mere 22
days, I will be boarding a plane for my first mission trip overseas with Hosea’s Heart. When people ask me what my plans are for the
summer and I mention Swaziland, it still just seems like one massive joke. I still cannot completely wrap my head around
the concept, and I don’t think it will become reality for me until I’m finally
boarding the plane. Besides the constant
disbelief of my nearing endeavor, here is my story of how I have wound up
preparing to leave for Swaziland, Africa. J
On December 31, of 2011, I got on a
bus headed for Atlanta, Georgia alongside a large group of people headed to a
conference known as Passion 2012.
Passion lasted for about 5 days, and was without a doubt one of the best
experiences of my life. At Passion,
there were world known inspirational speakers such as Francis Chan, and John
Piper. On top of that, there were a never-ending
stream of incredibly amazing Christian worship leaders such as Chris Tomlin,
and David Crowder Band. The main concept
of the entire week was to not only build your relationship with our Lord and
Savior Jesus Christ, but the planners, speakers, and bands did a phenomenal job
of further expanding the audiences’ understanding of the ongoing battle of
slavery, and sex trafficking around the world today. They showed us videos of personal interviews
with victims of the slave industry.
Every new clip not only caused me to experience nausea and disgust, but
a sense of conviction. Passion
thankfully gave us the opportunity to donate to the cause. As a whole we ended up raising an insane
amount of money to various organizations such as IJM, Tiny Hands, and the A21
Project. Praise Jesus!! This news
completely thrilled me, but for some reason I still felt convicted and almost
guilty. One of the last nights of
Passion, they showed us one of the most intense videos. Immediately afterwards a worship leader began
to sing a super pumped up joyous song to the Lord. As I looked around, everyone looked as if
they were all just hit by a bus. I
couldn’t stand to sit there and join in on worship as if everything felt
ok. At this point I was incredibly frustrated
of why God has allowed all this to happen.
“Jesus. Those are YOUR CHILDREN
and they are in SO MUCH pain!! What
more can we do for these people? Where
do we start?!” These were some of the
thoughts flying through my brain.
Throughout the process I just felt God telling me. ….“Go.” At this point, I was WAY more than puzzled
and frustrated. Last summer I went to
Los Angeles, and my parents had a difficult time even allowing me to go
there. So how on earth would I be
capable of saying “Oh hey mom and dad!
I’m female and 18 years old. This
summer I would like to fly to a foreign country and fight against sex
trafficking! Good idea huh?” …… Yeah….. I thought for sure it would be a
simple “ummm no,” from my parents. So as
the music started playing after this clip that lead me to all of these
thoughts, I headed for the hallway and just stood there in bewilderment and
prayer. My friend Gabe thankfully came
around the corner with open ears willing to listen to what was currently on my
heart. At the end I expressed to him
that I will probably just wait until I’m much older to do anything about
it. He said something that really pushed
me towards actually considering the possibility of actually doing something about
my conviction. “Lindsay, if God has
called you to go, then He will make it happen.
It doesn’t matter what you think your parents will say. If you are meant to go on a mission trip to
fight for this cause, God will open a door.”
Sure enough… he was right J
When I got home from Passion, my
best friend Rachael Schaeffer came over and I poured out my whole heart about
everything that went on. I literally got
out my notebook and re-preached every messege to her!! At the end of the conversation about me
telling her my desire to go out and do something about it, she mentioned that
her sister Beth had an awesome roommate named Mary-Kate who has the same
passion and has created an organization called Hosea’s Heart. Rachael showed me Hosea’s Heart’s facebook
page, and from there I got Mary-Kate’s email J When I sent Mary-Kate an email, I seriously
wasn’t expecting a response anytime soon nor a future opportunity with
Swaziland. Just went out on a limb and
thought “Oh hey, why not? If something
is meant to happen, it will! It’s in
God’s hands now.” Before I knew it…. SHE
EMAILED ME BACK! I seriously was freaking out.
Mary Kate was totally accepting, and encouraged the idea of me coming
along. Wow, God is SO GOOD. The crazy part of it all, is that my parents
have been, for the most part, pretty chill about me going to Swaziland. They have doubts here and there, and a lot of
adults keep expressing their doubts to my mother of her decision. But through the power of prayer, God has
allowed for this to mission trip to happen. J
At Passion, I had the glorious
privilege of rooming with a beautiful woman named Kirsten Scheller-Suitor. She is SO excellent, and totally radiates
God’s love 24/7. During the conference
she had such a difficult time with the videos and the heartbreak of women all
over the world. She also was missing her
“ninos” from her previous mission trip in the Philippines. Kirsten throughout the trip expressed her
conviction and desire to go out on another mission trip for this cause. Immediately when lovely Rachael told me about
Hosea’s Heart I texted Kirsten right away and told her about our potential
opportunity. Needless to say, Kirsten is
also boarding the plane to head to Swaziland, Africa. AND after Rachael told me about Hosea’s
Heart, she started to feel convicted and now she is going too!!
God has entirely rocked my world,
and revealed his ultimate power. I have
learned so far that God doesn’t take “no” or “I’ll do it later” for an
answer. Why should we ever attempt to
make our own plans when in the end God has our daily agenda already
completed? I am more than excited for
June 26th to arrive, and to serve alongside the beautiful people of
Swaziland, and to no longer sit on the sidelines. About a month ago I was flipping through my
journal, and in September I wrote “Lately I’ve had a huge heart for
Africa.” In September, the thought of
going to Africa was such a distant goal/dream.
On January 5th, I wrote, “I feel compelled to do mission work
and help the helpless. Lead me towards
my next step in life. I will follow
you.” And on January 16, 2012, I wrote,
“Please give me a direction. Tell me if
Swaziland is where I need to be. I love
you will all my heart. I want to always
drink from your merciful well.”
WOW. God is so good. Now I am actually officially GOING to
Swaziland. Unbelievable. Prayers are very much needed, because without
the love of Christ this mission wouldn’t be possible! J
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