On American soil.

Hello all!  On July 31st at approximately 7:00 PM, we landed in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.  Leaving Swaziland was by far one of the hardest things Ive ever had to deal with.  It definitely makes my "top 5 hardest crys of my life" list.  Ever since I've left, Ive wanted to go back.  I want to be thrown back into the sea of chocolate faces.  I want to be the minority.  I want to hear "Sabona!" or "Umulungu!"  I miss the accents.  The crazy driving.  The dirt.  The smell. The warm embraces of the all the stick thin arms.  I miss the feeling of getting my hair aggressively braided.  I miss how filthy I would feel after a long day of being out and about.   I miss wearing no makeup, and not showering often.  I miss wearing long skirts.  I miss recieving precious little notes from children.  I miss being called "teacha!" and "magay!"  I miss the sound of the constant dog barking.   I miss African church, and the free spirit of dancing.  I miss the warm smiles, and appreciative attitudes.  I miss the selfless and unconditional loving personalities.  I miss the evident faithfulness to Christ they all had.  I miss the acceptance and the poverty.  I miss the smell of maize meal.  I miss having rice and veggies almost EVERY night.   I miss being charged at from African children.  I miss eating at KFC with the prostitute girls.  I miss telling a broken girl... I love you.  I miss Swaziland.  Most of all, I miss the people, more than anything. 

Honestly...I've been struggling.  College has been a struggle.  I have been struggling with my identity, my place in life, and just trying to fit in.  I miss hearing Ayanda's laugh.  Her note still kills me... "I wish I had more time to tell you more of my story."  or Londi's comment when I was packing... "Please dont forget about us."  uhh.  How can I not let remarks such as these puncture and wound my heart forever. 

To sum everything up... I am going back to Swaziland.  One way...or another.  I dont know when...or how.  But, I just know deep down that God will guide me there once again. 

Thanks again for everyones unconditional support, love, donations, and prayers. 

Prayers are still needed as I continue to embark on my journey here in college. 

With all my love,

Lindiwe